I'll Turn To You Now
by Starfire Star
Summary: Sakura is a single mom, and Syaoran, the father of her child, left her before she told him she was pregnant. Now her child has leukemia, and she must turn to Syaoran for help. R&R! Chapter 7 out, sorry for the delay!
1. The Memories

**Konnichiwa, minna-san!**

**This is the new improved Chapter One of I'll Turn To You Now.**

**I hope you will enjoy this as much as you enjoyed the old chappies.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP has the right to say that they do. But I do not.**

-

**I'll Turn To You Now  
**A CCS Fanfic by _Starfire Star  
_

Chapter One: The Memories

-

Sakura Kinomoto sat at the kitchen table of her house, drinking coffee and staring out the window of her house. Her emerald-eyes sparkled with a tinge of sadness in them. She sighed once in a while.

"Mom?" her 10 year-old daughter Meiko stood beside her mother, staring at her. She too, had auburn hair, though it was darker and longer, but had amber-eyes.

"Hmm?" Sakura glanced at her daughter. "What is it?"

"Mom, you look so sad and lonely," Meiko told her mother.

"I do?" Sakura said with a tiny laugh as she took another sip of coffee. "Don't worry."

"I bet you never felt lonely when Dad was around," Meiko remarked.

Sakura's head snapped in her daughter's direction. "Well, of course not. If I felt lonely when your father was around then I wouldn't have had you."

"Mom, was I an accident?" Meiko asked, jumping at the chance to talk about her father.

"What?" Sakura's eyes grew wide. "Of course you weren't! What made you think that?"

"Nothing," Meiko sighed as she slumped down onto the chair next to her mother's. "It's just that Dad would've been here if I wasn't an accident."

"Meiko, your father has nothing to do with your life. He never saw you, held you, taken care of you, or did anything involving you," Sakura said. "So therefore, he's pretty much not your father. Just the person that helped make you be here today."

"Why didn't he ever see me?" Meiko asked.

"Because… because…" Sakura said, her eyes practically filling with tears. "I hate to tell you this Meiko… but when I was only 2 months pregnant, your father left me. He didn't tell me where he was going, why he did it or anything. I just found out from your aunt."

"W-what…" Meiko felt numb and had her mouth open in a perfect o. "I can't believe he left you! What a jerk!" Meiko cried.

"Meiko Kinomoto!" Sakura said firmly, frustrated with her daughter.

"Mom, I'm serious! This guy is a total utter jerk!" Meiko said. "The one who had borne me! My own flesh and blood! I can't believe it! I can't believe you'd have me with an idiot!"

"Meiko, I never got to tell him that I was pregnant with you," Sakura said, almost shouting. "He left before I got a chance to tell him. So I'm sure he would've been with us if he knew. I… I guess he had his reasons to leave."

"No he doesn't!" Meiko snapped. "If he loved you enough to have me, he would have still been with you, no matter what happened!"

"Well… then…" Sakura's voice trailed off. "Now that I think about it… I-I guess he didn't love me enough to stay with me no matter what the consequences. He just loved me enough to have you."

"But-" Meiko tried to say.

"And furthermore, why do you have to bring this up now? Your father doesn't matter!" Sakura cried.

A single tear fell from Sakura's eyes. And then the tears kept pouring in.

"Mom… it's okay. I understand if you don't want to talk about it. Now I think my dad's a jerk, so we don't have to talk about him," Meiko whispered to her mother.

"Meiko…" Sakura said, wiping away tears and sniffing a little. "I'm sorry. Just… just go to your room and do something."

"Okay," Meiko slowly walked up the stairs to her room, staring at her mom as she left.

As soon as Sakura heard Meiko close the door to her bedroom, she moved towards the cordless phone and picked it up. She dialed a number.

"Moshi Moshi," a voice answered.

"Hey, Tomoyo. It's Sakura," Sakura said, with a couple of sniffles.

"Oh, Sakura! Hey!" Tomoyo's voice said cheerfully. She paused for a moment, remembering how Sakura sniffled, and then said, "Sakura, it sounds as if you've been crying. Are you alright?" she said with a tone of worry.

"Y-yeah… I'm okay. Listen can you come over? It's urgent," Sakura whispered to her cousin/best friend.

"Sure Sakura. I'll be there ten minutes," Tomoyo reassured.

"Thanks, Tomoyo," Sakura said. She hung up the phone then slump to the floor, her back against the wall.

"Why did I even have to tell Meiko this?" Sakura was annoyed with herself. "Why did she have to be so curious?"

"I still need to know some things myself."

-

Tomoyo knocked on Sakura's front door.

Sakura opened it; her emerald eyes filled with worry and sadness, and gave Tomoyo a hug.

"What's the matter, hon? Are you okay?" Tomoyo stepped inside the house and took off her knee-high leather boots and black trench coat.

They went to the kitchen, where Sakura reluctantly had another cup of coffee.

"So, what's the matter Saku?" Tomoyo asked Sakura.

"Meiko brought up her father again. But this time, she digged right in the details. I don't know why I did it, Tomoyo! It just spilled out!"

"What spilled out?" Tomoyo asked, eyebrows raised.

"I told her that Syaoran left when I was pregnant! Do you think she deserves to know now? At such a young age! Only ten!" Sakura shook her head.

"Sakura, ten's not that a young age. Better than when she's twenty and more mature and curious than ever."

"But wouldn't she be too mature to handle this properly?" Sakura asked.

"Meiko would be too emotionally mature. She'd have more wisdom and wits," Tomoyo argued.

"I guess," Sakura said. "She called Syaoran a jerk and an idiot."

"Well I guess that's what he was. Before. When he walked out on you," Tomoyo shook her head. "I wonder if he's better than when he was before."

"I lied to her," Sakura admitted to Tomoyo as she looked down.

"What did you say?"

"I told her she wasn't an accident," Sakura replied, still not looking at Tomoyo.

Tomoyo sighed. "She's going to find out some way or another."

"So do you think it's okay to tell Meiko about her father?" Sakura questioned.

"I suppose so. It's not like she's going to go search for him or wanting to meet him or anything. She called him a jerk, after all," Tomoyo added more sugar to her coffee.

"Tomoyo, you're going to get diabetes with all that sugar you put in!" Sakura's eyes narrowed as Tomoyo took yet another spoonful of sugar and added it to her coffee.

"Relax. I'm adding more cream. And sugar's what helps me get through the day," Tomoyo laughed.

Sakura sweatdropped.

"Besides, it's not like he's going to come crashing into your lives any time soon," Tomoyo reasoned.

Suddenly they heard footsteps going down the stairs.

"Mom?" Meiko called as she walked into the kitchen.

"Well, if it isn't my gorgeous niece!" Tomoyo smiled at Meiko.

"Auntie Tomoyo!" Meiko gave Tomoyo a hug.

"Nice to see you again dear," Tomoyo grinned.

Meiko smiled at her aunt.

"Hey… I was just thinking… why don't you come to my modeling show this weekend?" Tomoyo suggested. "One of my ten year-old models has the flu and can't come, so we need a substitute."

"Really?" Meiko asked brightly. "But I don't have any modeling experience!"

"Relax, you'll do fine," Tomoyo waved her hand airily. "It'll be great."

"Can I do it, mom?" Meiko glanced to her mother hopefully. "It'll be a great experience for me! And maybe one day I'll become one of those Top Models in Tokyo Teen Magazine!"

"Maybe not that far," Tomoyo remarked.

"I suppose so sweetie," Sakura smiled.

"Yay!" Meiko grinned and ran up the stairs. She stopped on her way up.

"Hey, mom!" she called. "Can I experiment with your makeup? I need to try doing that so I can get the feeling when the makeup people put it on me!"

Sakura sweat dropped. "Sure…"

"Hehe, at least she's bringing out her feminine side," Tomoyo laughed.

-

**Chapter Cleaned As of June 11th, 2006. **

Reviews embraced with loving arms XD Push the button below!


	2. The Past is in the Past: Part I

**I'll Turn to You Now  
**A CCS Fanfic by _Starfire Star_

Chapter Two: The Past Is In The Past: Part I

Sakura sat on the couch of her living room the next day at 2:00pm. There was nothing to watch, or anything to do. Meiko was at the library.

She trudged to the kitchen and opened up the fridge. Vegetables and last night's Chinese take-out sat on the shelves.

"Ugh…" Sakura groaned. "I just realized we've been having Chinese all this week."

She slammed the fridge shut and rubbed her temples, hand on the door. She was beginning to have a headache.

"Where's that Tylenol," Sakura muttered to herself. She found the red and white Regular Strength bottle and took two with a glass of water.

As Sakura passed her bedroom on the way to the living room, she looked at the welcoming bed all ready for her to take a nap. Sakura hesitated, and then shook her head.

"Maybe I'll take a tiny nap," Sakura said, yawning. Her eyelids felt very heavy all of a sudden.

She slumped onto the bed, pulled up the covers (even though it was summer), and immediately fell into a deep sleep.

-

"Mom, I'm home!" Meiko hollered as she slammed the front door behind her. It was 5:00pm, and still daylight.

No one answered as Meiko kept hollering for her mom.

"Mom! Mom! Mom?" Meiko whispered as she passed her mother's room and found her fast asleep on her bed.

Meiko rolled her eyes and found this was the time for some mischief and snooping. She had the urge to do this many times since she was old enough to think for herself. With an evil grin on her face, she started poking and prodding around her mom's room. She started poking around underneath Sakura's bed. She mostly found missing pairs of socks, dust bunnies, old books, and shoes that Sakura bought but never wore. And beyond all that old junk was… a red box, tied with a white piece of ribbon.

The box, though a little bit dusty, was fairy un-used looking. It had no scratched or rips or anything.

Meiko was eager to see what was in box. She considered the many possibilies.

"Is it old photos? Is it stuff from Grandma and Grandpa? Is it… letters from a secret boyfriend?" Meiko thought, giggled as she thought of the last one, and clapped a hand over a mouth when she had realized how loud she had been.

She looked over at her sleeping mother, watching her for any effects of the giggling. Sure enough, Sakura rolled over, mumbled, "Damn" in a soft voice, and went back to snoring.

Meiko giggled, this time, not loud. She glanced back hesitantly at the box and felt her heart beat fast.

There were, of course, hidden secrets about Meiko and the other side of her family she never knew. She didn't know that in the box were some precious memories from before she was born.

Slowly Meiko untied, the box, heart pounding. She gulped as she slid off the lid.

In the box were neat, clean cream-coloured envelopes. Meiko took one out of the box and examined it.

In Sakura's neat cursive, the mail address was to China, but no specific address. Meiko frowned. Her mother was not dumb enough to not give a specific address. But even though the envelopes looked unharmed, they were quite old. These might have been from a long time ago. Meiko examined it more and saw a lot of stamps stuck on it. She looked back at the address and found it was mailed to some guy named "Syaoran Li".

Meiko rubbed her temples in confusion. She was beginning to have a headache.

"Ugh… my head hurts… I don't even know why…" Meiko mumbled.

"This Syaoran Li… is he my… father?" Meiko said, in a rather loud voice as she held the envelope loosely in her hand.

Sakura, hearing the noise rolled over, half-asleep.

"Meiko, is that you?" she mumbled.

Meiko realized the large box was in front of her and quickly grabbed it, dashing off to her room. She threw the box onto her bed through the open door, and then quickly shut the door. She hurried to her mother room and replied, "hi mom."

Sakura was awake now, eyes open. "What books did you take out?" she said as she gave Meiko a rather suspicious look.

"I didn't," Meiko said a sheepish grin on her face. "I read the ones I wanted to take out at the library."

Sakura snorted. She yawned, stretched and got out of bed. She looked around the room with a hard expression on her face.

"Meiko… did you poke around in my room while I was asleep?" Sakura said sternly.

"N-no…" Meiko said a tired look on her face. She was getting rather tired. Most of these days she was getting very tired.

"Are you alright?" Sakura asked in a suddenly very concerned voice.

"N-no… I mean, yes!" Meiko quickly corrected herself and forced a weak smile on her face, not looking into the eyes of her mother.

"Uh… okay," Sakura said, unsure of what to think. "What time is it?"

"Around six o'clock," Meiko replied, trying to get out of the room as fast as possible. "And, uh, I have to go sleep! I'm tired!"

"Six o'clock, eh? Better go make us dinner. I am not going to order Chinese again," Sakura said in a firm voice as she left the room.

"Ok…"

"Oh, and Meiko?" Sakura paused, retreating back to the room to look at her daughter.

"H-hai?" Meiko still had the forced smile on her face.

"Did you say you were tired? I don't want you fainting like last time. You should get some sleep. I hope it help with your paleness," Sakura added. "You look awfully pale and sickly… are you alright? Fever? Should I bring you to the doctor's?"

"Um, no, it's ok Sakura," Meiko said hurriedly. "I'm sure I'll be ok with some rest."

Sakura nodded, turned around and left the room.

Meiko sighed in relief as she made her way back to her own room.

"If she kept up the interrogation, she might have discovered these, too," Meiko whispered to herself as she rolled up her sleeves showing huge bruises.

-

At dinner, which was chicken adobo (lol some of you Filipinos should know this food), there was an odd silence between Sakura and Meiko, which was unusual. Usually they had a billion things to talk about, whether they were discussing Meiko's schoolwork or talking about Meiko's views on Sakura's new boyfriend.

Tonight, though, Meiko had a million things swirling in her mind: her bruises, the modeling show Tomoyo wanted Meiko to do, the letters from Sakura to this "Syaoran Li"…

Sakura was staring at Meiko very intently. Meiko was picking at her food, smashing up a potato.

"Tell me what's on your mind, Mei," Sakura spoke. "This is unlike you. You seem uneasy about something."

Meiko shook her head fiercely, and then blurted out, "Who is Syaoran Li!"

Sakura froze in shock. "W-what?"

"Syaoran Li!" Meiko repeated. "And the letters? What are they about?"

"Meiko!" Sakura cried shakily. "What are you talking about?"

"The letters! You wrote this guy letters! Who is he?" Meiko asked firmly.

"Meiko!" Sakura shouted. "There is no reason to yell! Just calm down, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Right…" Meiko said disbelievingly, slumping back into her seat.

"First of all… what are you talking about? What letters?" Sakura asked, taking a deep breath.

"The letters…" Meiko found no other choice except to explain where she found the letters and what state they had been in. "To Syaoran Li. I found them under your bed in a box. There were a stack of them and they were dusty!"

"T-the letters? W-what…" Sakura whispered. She closed her eyes and said, "The letters. Right."

Meiko was in a hurry to continue. "And who is Syaoran Li?"

"Meiko, I wrote those letters a long time ago. To your father Syaoran Li," Sakura's voice shook as she took a deep breath.

"M-my father?" Meiko replied.

"Yes. I wrote those letters when I was eighteen," Sakura continued. "And I never got a reply. I sent those letters, but they were sent back to me. I never knew why. I sent a million of those things, all saying the same thing. But I'm not sure if they ever reached him."

"What did they say?"

"Gosh, Meiko, I don't know," Sakura sighed. "It was a long time ago. But I guess they said that he had a child."

Meiko did not know what to say; sure, her mother had said before that her father had left. But it felt odd for some reason. She felt sorry for her mother; having to endure the pregnancy while her father was somewhere else with a new life.

Sakura focused on her meal, glancing at Meiko often to see what her reaction would be, but Meiko said nothing.

Sakura sighed. "Do you want me to tell you the past? About how Syaoran took off and I found out I was pregnant?"

"Uh, mom, hello, I'm only ten and a half, I don't want all the nasty details!" Meiko said in horror. "What kind of mother are you?"

"No, no, not that," Sakura snapped. "What are you thinking? I'll just tell you."

-**Flashback-**

"Tom, Syaoran loves me, right?" 18 year-old Sakura Kinomoto asked her best friend as she examined a lime-green prom dress. They were shopping for their prom dresses at the mall.

Tomoyo looked up. "Why are you asking me? Didn't he tell you? If he shows it, he must." She paused. "Did he?"

"Yes," Sakura firmly nodded. "He's so sweet…"

Tomoyo smiled. "See, you don't need to be reassured. And you two are going to be Prom King and Prom Queen for sure!"

"I don't know… it's not like I'm that popular," Sakura shrugged.

"Sure you are," Tomoyo told her. "You're popular. And you're dating Syaoran. So you two are the most powerful couple at Tomoeda High."

Sakura grinned as she picked up a baby blue gown. "Is this dress okay?" she asked Tomoyo.

Tomoyo shook her head. "Not you."

"Oh, right!" Sakura suddenly exclaimed. "I forgot to ask you. Who are you going with to the prom?"

Tomoyo grinned. "Yakotashi Maeda."

"HIM?" Sakura shrieked. "Didn't he play Romeo opposite you as Juliet in Romeo and Juliet?"

Tomoyo nodded. "Besides, we're just going as friends. We're not serious or anything. Besides, he's a nice guy."

Sakura laughed as she picked up a fire-red dress.

"Me?"

"Nope."

A beautiful, very light pink dress caught Tomoyo's eye. It was a strapless silk gown, with a nice intricate flower pattern on the side in light pink thread. The top part of the dress was lined with diamonds. The gown had a flowing skirt that reached to the ground. The gown was perfect for Sakura.

Tomoyo's eyes grew wide as she quickly grabbed it off the rack.

"Sakura, this is perfect for you!" Tomoyo whispered as she held it up for Sakura. Sakura came forward and took the dress from Tomoyo's hands.

"Wow," she breathed. "It is perfect."

Sakura decided to take the dress and she tried it on. It was a nice fit.

They decided to look for Tomoyo's dress at another store after 45 more minutes of browsing. They didn't find what she wanted.

At another store though, that changed. Tomoyo found a beautiful lilac purple dress. It was as low-cut as Sakura's strapless dress and it had small tiny bunched-up kind of sleeves that just rested on her shoulders. Unlike Sakura's dress, however, hers did not reach the floor. It stopped to just halfway below her knees. They bought shoes and shawls to match. Then Sakura called Syaoran to pick them up.

Syaoran picked them up in his newly washed car from the car wash. He smiled at Tomoyo and gave Sakura a kiss and a hug.

Sakura got into the passenger seat and Tomoyo got in the back. She watched Syaoran sweatdrop as Sakura told him about their shopping trip and what they bought, ecstatically. Syaoran stopped her from talking with a kiss, and Sakura blushed. They dropped off Tomoyo at her house. She noticed what a cute couple Sakura and Syaoran made.

-

It was the day of the prom. Sakura and Tomoyo putting on their makeup and perfume after their showers. Tomoyo put her hair into a half ponytail and curled it. The result was beautiful. Sakura curled her shoulder-length hair. Finally they slipped into their gowns and glanced in the mirror. They were pretty darn happy about how they looked.

Finally they waited for their "escorts" (in Tomoyo's case) to arrive. Yakotashi came first, ready to take Tomoyo to the prom. He had a limo and everything for Tomoyo, since his family was rich. He was nice though. He smiled at Tomoyo and took her hand. He grinned at Sakura as they walked over to the limo.

"See you there, Sakura!" called Tomoyo over her shoulder as she got into the car. She gave Sakura a little wave over her shoulder.

A couple of minutes later Syaoran arrived.

"Hey," Syaoran whispered to her as he took her arm, leading her to his car. "You look beautiful."

Sakura blushed. "Thanks."

"Shall we go now?" Syaoran asked, giving her a light kiss. "Or is Tomoyo coming with us?"

"No, no, she went with Yakotashi, remember?" Sakura replied.

"Oh, right… let's go then," Syaoran backed out of the driveway and they drove off into the cool spring evening.

They arrived at the prom, and Tomoyo and Yakotashi were waiting for them. So were Chiharu Mihara and Takashi Yamazaki.

"Sakura!" Chiharu squealed. "You look sooo pretty!"

"Thanks, Chiharu," Sakura smiled. "You look very nice, too."

Chiharu was dressed in a lime-green, simple dress, with spaghetti straps.

"Oh, oh, wait!" Tomoyo said. She reached into a tote bag she had brought and got out her camcorder.

"Tomoyo… wouldn't pictures be quicker? We wouldn't want to keep you from having a good time yourself tonight," Chiharu and Sakura sweatdropped.

"No, no, this is a good time to me!" Tomoyo laughed.

Tomoyo started taping Sakura and Syaoran, who were arguing about whether to dance or not.

"Come on Syaoran, let's go dance!" Sakura said, tugging at Syaoran's arm.

"Aw, man, I can't dance," Syaoran whispered to Sakura. "Remember?"

"No, you'll be fine! Look at Chiharu and Yamazaki!" Sakura pointed to the couple, who were having a good time fooling around by dancing stupidly.

"I… I can't," Syaoran sweatdropped. "Ah… fine," Syaoran said hastily, watching Sakura's face drop.

"Great!" Sakura said, grabbing Syaoran's arm and dragging him onto the dance floor.

"Don't tape this," Sakura added to Tomoyo as they passed her, Tomoyo giggling.

Yakotashi was staring uncertainly at Tomoyo. "Uh, Tomoyo," Yakotashi began, his voice full of doubt. "There's this girl I like over there… do you mind if I talk to her?"

"Hmm?" Tomoyo replied, looking over her shoulder. "Ok. Mind if I come?"

"You'll scare her off!" Yakotashi said. "She might think we're together."

Tomoyo sighed. "Fine. I'll just stand over there. But if anything goes wrong, I'm coming in."

"Ok," Yakotashi agreed as he lopped off toward the girl and one of her friends. Tomoyo casually sauntered a few meters behind him, occasionally glancing at Sakura and Syaoran, who were laughing at Syaoran stepping on Sakura's feet.

"Uh… uh, Kanako?" Yakotashi asked a short pretty dark-haired girl.

"Yeah?" Kanako asked. "What do you want?"

This seemed to put Yakotashi off a little since his face dropped. He walked away, only to be pulled by Tomoyo around the corner.

"What are you doing?" Tomoyo hissed. "That girl isn't good enough for you! She seems awfully rude."

"What? No!" Yakotashi argued. "I want to be with her!"

"Are you sure?" Tomoyo asked as she looked around the corner and saw the girl whispering and giggling with her friend.

"Hai!" Yakotashi replied. "Can you help me? I can't believe I'm actually asking you for help."

"Are you sure? Are you sure there isn't anyone else you like?"

Yakotashi shook his head. "Positive."

Tomoyo sighed. "Fine. Just get back out there and ask her out like you nervously did before."

"What?" Yakotashi replied, horrified.

"Relax. Trust me."

Yakotashi once again lopped off to the girl and her friend, Tomoyo walking a few meters behind him.

"Kanako?" Yakotashi asked the girl again.

"What is it now, Yakotashi?" the girl sighed exasperatedly.

"Uh, well," Yakotashi said. "You wanna go out?"

"What?" Kanako said. "I don't go out with guys who are in Drama Club." She laughed rudely.

Yakotashi turned red as Tomoyo walked behind him, a furious expression on her face.

"Yakotashi?" Tomoyo screeched. "What are you doing? We had incredible dates together, you and me! You gave me everything I wanted, and you treated me like I was the most important person in the world! And then you STOP calling me?" Tomoyo exclaimed, eyes full with tears. Yakotashi looked extremely horrified.

Kanako and her friend were watching with amusement and interest.

"Well, I've spent too long crying over you!" Tomoyo cried. "You were the best thing that's ever happened to me, but I have to say goodbye!" Tomoyo turned on her heel and stomped away.

Kanako turned back to Yakotashi. "So," Kanako began. "I just might change my mind about Drama Club guys." She grinned. "So when did you want to go out?"

Tomoyo sighed happily for Yakotashi. Her job there was done.

Meanwhile, Sakura and Syaoran were dancing to a slow song outside, on this little kind of patio place except there were no chairs, where some other couples danced. It was a full moon and the twilight sparkled. There was a large fountain that had water flowing from it. The scene was a beautiful one.

Sakura's head rested on Syaoran's shoulder.

"Syaoran?" Sakura whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What if something happens? What if you got sent off to become a samurai like you told me your mother wanted you to become?" Sakura mumbled.

"I'm never going to leave, Sakura," Syaoran whispered.

"Are you sure?" Sakura said softly.

"I'm never going to leave you," Syaoran repeated. "Never."

But he wasn't sure if that was a promise he could keep.

"I love you, Syaoran," Sakura said. "Always."

"I love you too," Syaoran said back to her. "Don't worry, nothing's going to happen."

Sakura leaned in for a kiss, and Syaoran returned it. After that, they just hugged each other long into the night. They both didn't want it to end.

And they had good reason to, since this would be the last time that they would be together.

The day after the dance, Syaoran went on vacation with his parents in South Korea. They stayed there for a week.

And that's where they were going to drop the bomb on him.

One night, for dinner, Mr. and Mrs. Li brought Syaoran to a very fancy restaurant.

After their meal was over, Syaoran glanced at his parents. "Are we going to leave? How come you haven't got the bill?"

"Syaoran," Yelan began, "We have to tell you something that you probably aren't going to like, but please don't be mad at us. We're only doing this because we love you."

Syaoran's heart beat fast. "What? What is it? Did something happen?"

"Well, Xiao Lang, since you're turning eighteen next month, you'll have to begin you Li clan studies," Jun Li explained. He was nervous and kept glancing at Yelan.

"What?" Syaoran asked, surprised. "What does that mean?"

"You'll have to prepare for your role as Li Clan leader," Yelan replied.

Syaoran's chest tightened in panic.

There was a long pause before Yelan whispered, "You're to begin your preparation in… China."

Syaoran put his head in his hands. Yelan and Jun exchanged tense Looks. Yelan bit her lip as if she were about to cry.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Syaoran lifted his head.

"How long is this preparation?" Syaoran asked slowly.

"Three years," Jun spoke in a hearty voice. "When you turn twenty-one, you're officially titled 'Li Clan Leader'."

"Do I have a choice whether to do it or not?" Syaoran spoke.

Yelan bit her lip again. "Well… it would disappoint the whole Li family if you were decline… we would prefer if you went on with the preparation, Xiao Lang. Do it for your parents. For your family. For Li Clan honor. And think of this as an opportunity to visit Meiling."

The name brought a smile to Syaoran's face. "Meiling," he repeated. "How is she?"

"She's doing fine," Yelan nodded. "She's dying to see you again."

Syaoran face turned serious again as he thought about his life in Japan.

"Mother… what about… Sakura?" Syaoran whispered, horrified at the thought of leaving her.

Yelan shook her head, a sad expression on her face. "I'm so sorry, Syaoran. As much as we want you to be happy… you can't be with her."

"What's wrong with her?" Syaoran asked. "She makes me happy!"

"She's not a proper candidate for Li Clan wife," Yelan said. "She's not up to standards. She doesn't have a proper family history…"

"No! Sakura was the best thing that ever happened to me!" Syaoran said. "What's wrong with her family?"

"The fact that her father married his student is unacceptable," Jun shook his head.

"We will find you a much better suited candidate for your wife," Jun added.

"Please Syaoran… please think about this. It's either your family, Li Clan, honor, respect… or choose the life you've grown to love," Yelan whispered. "We need you to give us an answer when we get home. Your father and I," Yelan paused. "And possibly you will be leaving tomorrow morning for Hong Kong."

Syaoran's eyes grew wide. "You're leaving me? So soon…"

"Well, yes, if you choose not to go with us," Jun said firmly. "The butler will take care of you until next month."

"We will send you money for your apartment or dorm, and for university," Yelan added.

"I…" Syaoran didn't know what to say. So he just shook his head, grabbed his coat and headed off to the car without another word.

Yelan and Jun rushed to give the money to the waitress. They plucked out a couple of 50s (A/N: We're talking about a fancy restaurant here, people) and rushed after Syaoran.

The drive home was long and silent. The tension in the car was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Syaoran didn't know what to choose— Sakura, or Li Clan Leader. Sakura or Li Clan Leader. Sakura or Li Clan Leader.

Syaoran's visions of a sad Sakura if he would be telling her he was leaving put pain in his heart. He loved Sakura so much… he didn't want to leave her. But still…

Syaoran knew family honor and respect was important to his family. He didn't want to hurt his parents, the people who raised him, who loved him for his entire life. It would pain him to see his parents fly off.

That's it. Syaoran knew his decision. It was what he was thinking of all along.

A couple of minutes later Jun stopped the car in their rented mansion driveway. Yelan, Jun, and Syaoran got out of the car, Yelan and Jun still anticipating the answer to the question.

As soon as Yelan and Jun peeled off their coats inside the house and took off their shoes, Syaoran announced, "I've made my decision."

Yelan smiled shakily. Jun nodded.

"I've decided to go on with the Li Clan Preparation. I'll come with you to China," Syaoran said quietly, his voice cracking and shaking.

-

**To Be Continued... Part II**

Chapter Cleaned As of June 11th, 2006

Reviews embraced with loving arms XD Push the button below!


	3. The Past is in the Past: Part II

**Thank you to my reviewers. I have cleaned this chapter, and I can't put the shoutouts anymore, but thanks  
**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Coldplay or any of the songs they have composed and performed. Also, I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. It is owned by CLAMP, respectively. If I owned CCS I wouldn't have made it as good as CLAMP has made it. And blah blah blah I'll just get to the fic because that's what you're here for anyways. BTW, I own this plot!**

-

**I'll Turn To You Now**

A CCS Fanfic by _Starfire Star_

Chapter Three: Part II: The Past is in the Past

-

_Reminder/Recap:_

Syaoran's visions of a sad Sakura if he would be telling her he was leaving put pain in his heart. He loved Sakura so much… he didn't want to leave her. But still…

Syaoran knew family honor and respect was important to his family. He didn't want to hurt his parents, the people who raised him, who loved him for his entire life. It would pain him to see his parents fly off.

That's it. Syaoran knew his decision. It was what he was thinking of all along.

A couple of minutes later Jun stopped the car in their rented mansion driveway. Yelan, Jun, and Syaoran got out of the car, Yelan and Jun still anticipating the answer to the question.

As soon as Yelan and Jun peeled off their coats inside the house and took off their shoes, Syaoran announced, "I've made my decision."

Yelan smiled shakily. Jun nodded.

"I've decided to go on with the Li Clan Preparation. I'll come with you to China," Syaoran said quietly, his voice cracking and shaking.

-_End of Reminder/Recap-_

Meanwhile, while Syaoran and his family were on vacation, Sakura was very anxious. She sat on the floor of her tiled bathroom, holding a small object in her hands. Tears softly streamed down her face. She gulped and stared at the ceiling, then stared back at the object again. Then she let out a sudden moan and burst into fresh tears.

There was a knock at the front door of the house. Sakura could hear her neighbour, Kyoko Meshida call through the door, "Konnichiwa? Is anyone home?"

Sakura took a quick gulp, and shakily stood up. She jammed the small object into the front pocket of her jeans. She quickly splashed her tear-struck face with some cold, clean water and wiped it on a face towel. She shook her head and put a pleasant face on.

"Oh, Konnichiwa, Sakura-chan," Kyoko greeted. She was a very nice woman, in her mid-twenties. She had her long brown hair braided in a single plait down her back. She was just a couple of inches taller than Sakura, and her eyes always seemed to be sparkling. Tomoyo often told Sakura that Kyoko looked like her, but older.

"Oh, hi, Miss Kyoko," Sakura smiled. "Would you like to come in?" She panicked at her own words. She couldn't let Kyoko in! Not in the state she was in.

Sakura felt a sense of relief when she hear Kyoko reply, "Oh, no, Sakura. I'd love to, but I have some studying to do." Kyoko had taken a few years after she finished High School to travel. She has visited all over the world. But now she was a student at Tokyo U. Sakura always admired Kyoko.

Kyoko pulled an apple pie and a cheesecake out of a plastic bag. "I made these for you, your father, and Touya. I had to bake some things for Tokyo U's annual Bake Sale Festival, and I couldn't see why not to bake a few extras," Kyoko smiled as she handed them to Sakura.

"Oh! Thanks!" Sakura replied. Kyoko took one look around the house. "Is Touya or your father home?"

"Oh, no," Sakura told her. "Touya's visiting a friend, and Dad is at work."

"Oh, well, I should get going. I see you have some studying to do, too," Kyoko nodded at the object peeking out from the front pocket of Sakura's jeans. Kyoko thought it was a pen.

Sakura nodded quickly, and grabbed for the handle of the door. Suddenly Kyoko frowned out the small object in Sakura's jeans. She then stared at Sakura with a confused, worried, concerned, surprised face.

"W-what?" Sakura whispered, preparing for the worst. She knew what Kyoko suspected. "What's wrong?"

"Sakura… are you okay? Are you sick?" Kyoko quickly rushed in, hand on Sakura's forehead. "You looked flushed. No wonder you had a thermometer in your pocket. Do you want me to check your temperature?"

Sakura shook her head in embarrassment and stopped Kyoko's hand from reaching her pocket. Sakura was awfully embarrassed. It was embarrassing being treated like a little kid from a person you admired.

"No, it's okay, Kyoko, you have work to do," Sakura pushed Kyoko to the door. "It's alright, really!"

"W-wha?" Kyoko stuttered. "Well, Sakura, if you really insist, I'll leave you alone. Just, just call me if you need me."

"All right, arigato gozaimasu," Sakura bowed. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine, really."

"Okay then," Kyoko said, turning away with a little wave over her shoulder. "See you later, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura closed the door with a sigh of relief and pushed a strand of auburn hair out of her eyes. She was really stressed out.

Sakura remembered why she was crying. She covered her eyes in distress, feeling her emerald eyes being filled with tears. She ran to her room, and threw herself down on her bed. She pulled stray, limp bangs from her face and continued to sob.

This isn't fair! This is what I get from falling in love with Syaoran Li? Sakura thought to herself as she curled up in a ball and continued to cry. The small, hard object in her pocket prevented her from moving a lot, so she grabbed it out of her pocket,

"This is horrible… no… I can't!" Sakura cried as she flung the object across the room. She continued to cry into her pillow, wiping her tears on it.

"I have to call Tomoyo," Sakura said, still sniffling and hiccupping. "I need her."

She quickly dialed Tomoyo's number and was not surprised to hear her mother answer.

"Hello?" Sonomi Daidouji said to Sakura. "Daidouji residence. Does this have any relation to the brand-new Tomoyo dolls being over-stocked? Because I've already…"

"Hi, Auntie Sonomi," Sakura said. She kept her voice low as she clutched the phone. She didn't want her aunt to know how she was feeling.

"Oh, hello, Sakura," Sonomi replied. "How are you doing? How's life treating you?"

"Same, as always," Sakura said. "I'm ready to start University next year…" That is, if I'll ever get to go, Sakura thought to herself.

"Oh, good, good. Tokyo University is a wonderful University. I went there myself. Although it's awfully far away so you have to commute…"

"Yes, but my dad's got it all covered," Sakura answered. "Actually, Auntie Sonomi, can I please speak to Tomoyo?"

"Oh, why, yes," Sonomi said. "I'll just get her… but she might be shooting her next 'fashion documentary'. Of course to her it wouldn't be a fashion documentary without you modeling the clothes but…" Sonomi's voice trailed off as she thumped up the stairs.

"Tomoyo, sweetie!" Sonomi knocked on Tomoyo's door.

"Hai!" Sakura heard Tomoyo faintly reply through the door.

"It's Sakura-chan," Sonomi said matter-of-factly as Tomoyo opened the door.

"Oh, thanks," Tomoyo said snatching the phone and closing the door on her mother.

Sonomi shook her head in disappointment from her daughter. Then she made her way down the stairs.

"Oh! Sakura?" Tomoyo said, pressing ear to the phone.

"Tom… it's… it's…" Sakura whispered. She couldn't even say it. It was too shocking. She trembled as she clutched the phone tighter. "I can't… I need you to come over right now. It's an emergency."

"What!" Tomoyo shrieked as she searched frantically around her room for a coat. "Sakura? Are you okay? What happened? Is everything and everyone ok?"

"Yes, yes," Sakura hissed. "Keep your voice down. I need to talk to you. Come to my place, now!"

"Okay, Sakura," Tomoyo trembled, as concerned and scared as Sakura. "I'm coming."

Tomoyo grabbed her coat and car keys and rushed downstairs, sliding on her comfortable black flip-flops.

"Mom!" Tomoyo called. "I'm going over to Sakura's!"

"Oh, why? Is she okay?" Sonomi asked as Tomoyo rushed to get her coat on. "And… Tomoyo! It's 30 degrees (Celsius) outside! You don't need a coat!"

"Oh, crap," Tomoyo shrugged off her coat and threw it on a coach. She hurried outside but paused at the doorway when she heard her mother scolding her.

"Tomoyo Daidouji! I will not have that language or tone in my house!" Sonomi scolded.

"I know mom… but Sakura's my best friend and cousin and I need to be there for her." Tomoyo took a deep breath and rushed out the door, quickly unlocking the door and jumping in the driver's seat.

"Oh… my…" Sonomi shook her head and put a hand to her face.

Tomoyo backed out of the driveway and almost hit a tree. "Oh, damn," Tomoyo said. "What is with me?"

She quickly drove over to Sakura's, not noticing the many people honking at her when she passed a busy street.

What's up with Sakura? Tomoyo wondered to herself. She sounded like someone died… or something's wrong. Did Syaoran break up with her? But he's in Korea… oh my gosh! Did he break up with her on the phone? That bastard…

Tomoyo hurried to park in Sakura's driveway, made her way up the porch, and knocked hard and rapidly on the front screen door.

Sakura slowly appeared at the door, tear-stricken face and everything. "Tomoyo!" Sakura cried as she opened the door. Immediately Sakura gave Tomoyo a hug.

"Oh, Sakura," Tomoyo shook her head. "What's up? Are you okay?"

"Tomoyo… I don't believe it… I can barely say it… but I-I just might be pregnant."

Tomoyo felt as if the world had stopped. "W-what?" she said, eyes wide.

-

Sakura sat on her bed, hugging her legs in front of her. Her face was filled with despair.

Tomoyo sat on the ground, back against the wall facing Sakura. She shook her head in concern.

"You had SEX?" Tomoyo exclaimed suddenly. "I don't believe you! You would've told me!"

"Tomoyo!" Sakura shot back. "It was a one time thing! We were- we just got carried away! Besides, it was my first time!"

"When did you do… it?" Tomoyo asked.

Sakura sighed. "During my big Birthday Bash. We… we just got so caught up in the moment."

Tomoyo's eyes narrowed. "Oh my god Sakura! Did he rape you? Force you into doing it?"

Sakura looked horrified. "Of course not! I love him Tom! I really do!"

Tomoyo put on a small smile. "I know you do."

There was a pause before Tomoyo said, "So… was he good?"

"WHAT?" Sakura exclaimed. "What do you mean?"

"Was he good… like, for your first time? Was it his?" Tomoyo said.

"Well…" Sakura hesitated.

Tomoyo rolled her eyes. "I didn't think so. I mean, you expect the hottest guy in school to be a virgin?"

"Well… his first time was in Grade 10. But we've been going out for two and a half years. I really do love him, so I don't care."

"I don't understand this, Sakura," Tomoyo said, shaking her head again. "Didn't you use protection?"

"Yes!" Sakura insisted immediately. "It… it just kind of… it wasn't put on properly. We just realized that after it was over. "

"Then you can't be shocked that you're pregnant," Tomoyo said. "You had it coming. But I don't think it was your fault! It was his!"

"How?" Sakura defended Syaoran. "It's both our faults!"

Tomoyo bit her lip. "I don't want to get into the details." She began playing with the corner of Sakura's carpet.

Sakura didn't know what to say. Sakura decided for Tomoyo to say something, so in the meantime she smoothed out all the wrinkles from her bedspread.

"Sakura… when did you find this out?" Tomoyo whispered finally. "About the baby, I mean."

"Only today… I got kind of suspicious," Sakura paused with a Look from Tomoyo. "Okay, okay, I got REALLY suspicious. It started out with the morning sickness and the ability to smell really strongly… I'm scared, Tom."

"I know, Sakura. What are we going to do?" Tomoyo answered.

"What is everyone going to say?" Sakura blurted out. "It's not like this happens a lot in Tomoeda! My family's going to be the shame of the century! First with my Mom getting married to Dad who was her teacher… and now me getting pregnant when I'm 18 and not even married!"

"Sakura… we'll find a way. Besides, screw all those gossipy town folks," Tomoyo said.

"But how am I going to tell Dad and Touya? What if Dad tells me to get an abortion or put up the baby for adoption? What if Touya beat Syao—" Sakura realized a horrifying time that would come pretty soon. "Oh… my… god… I have to tell Syaoran! Oh my Kami, Tomoyo, what's going to happen! I'm already treading on thin ice with his parents! Oh, they are going to be so mad! Even worse— Syaoran could be mad at me! Oh… I can't handle this! It's too much!" Sakura burst into tears.

Tomoyo stood up, sat next to Sakura, and gave her a comforting hug. "Syaoran would never get mad at you. He cares about you too much. He would never do anything to hurt you."

But little did they know that Syaoran would indeed hurt Sakura.

"B-but… what is everyone going to say? How am I g-going to tell D-dad (hiccup)? A-and Touya? A-and Rika and C-Chiharu and Naoko… and Yamazaki! And, and even Kyoko!"

"Sakura… I know your father will understand. And I bet everyone else will be supportive and sympathetic, just like me."

"B-but I'm going to have a baby!" Sakura wailed. "I won't be able to go to Tokyo University if I have to take care of a baby!"

"I'm so sorry Sakura," Tomoyo said gently. "But the pregnancy test MAY be wrong. I just thought of that only now. You'll never know unless you go to the doctor's."

"Uh… y-yeah… no use me acting up on something that may not even be real," Sakura said shakily as she wiped her eyes.

"Sakura! We're home!" A voice said as the front door open and keys shook.

"Oh, no," Sakura wailed. "My dad and Touya are home!"

"Don't worry," Tomoyo said, even though she was worrying herself.

"Sakura! Where are you?" Fujitaka Kinomoto called through the house now, rustling grocery bags.

Sakura stood up and brushed imaginary lint from her jeans. "Got to face the music," she said to herself, reaching for the doorknob.

"I'm right behind you," Tomoyo said as she stood up too.

Sakura opened the door and stepped outside. "Dad, I'm here. I was just in my room with Tomoyo."

"Thank god," Touya said as Sakura and Tomoyo appeared in the kitchen. "I thought you were in your room with- with that brat!"

"Relax," Sakura said, a tint of blush spread across her cheeks with a playful punch to Touya's shoulder. "Are you kidding me?"

She glanced nervously at Tomoyo. Tomoyo shrugged back.

"Anyways, Sakura, we still have to make some arrangements with the University…" Fujitaka's voice trailed off as everything swirled through Sakura's head, making her incredibly dizzy.

Should I tell Dad and Touya? Syaoran, I'm having a baby. No, Dad might throw me out! Will he really do that? Will Touya beat Syaoran up? I'm having a baby… OH MY GOD I'M HAVING A BABY! No parties for me anymore… maternity clothes… being fat and hungry… morning sickness…Sakura thought to herself, her face filled with nervousness and fright. Her chest tightened with every worry.

"Sakura? Are you listening to me? We have a lot to do before you go to Tokyo U," Fujitaka reminded his daughter, who had a distant expression to her face.

"Sakura?" Fujitaka said gently to Sakura.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, Dad…" Sakura said.

"Sakura… is there something wrong? Did something happen? Are you alright?" Fujitaka asked.

"Well… um no…" Sakura stammered. "It's just that…"

"Hai? What it is?" Fujitaka said.

"Um…" Sakura glanced at Tomoyo. Tomoyo's head shook 'No' but Sakura knew it was now or never. Everyone would notice in one month or so. And besides, honesty is the best policy. She decided to go with that. But still… something was holding her back.

"Dad… Dad…" Sakura began… heart pounding and tears filling her huge eyes.

Touya was listening to Sakura too. He stared at her with a questioning face.

"Dad… I'm pregnant!" Sakura blurted out. She burst into tears and ran to her room. Fujitaka, Touya, and Tomoyo heard Sakura's bedroom door slam and sobs being heard.

Tomoyo gave a helpless and apologetic glance at Touya and Fujitaka, and then ran after Sakura.

Fujitaka just stared straight ahead, a dazed expression on his face. His mouth was open in shock. He slumped into a nearby chair.

Touya was shocked too. He took a deep breath… and slumped into a chair himself. It was a long time before anyone said anything. Fujitaka put his head in his hands.

Touya's face had turned from shocked to disappointed to anger. "Who did this to my sis… is it that brat! I'll kill him… I KNEW something was wrong with him! The little asshole… I'll hunt him down and slaughter him!"

"Touya," Fujitaka's voice was cold and serious. "We can't be joking around. This is serious."

Touya nodded. "I guess we should go speak to the claimer."

"Yes… well… we should," Fujitaka stood up and headed for Sakura's room. Touya followed.

"Sakura… we need to talk," Fujitaka said with a knock on the door.

Tomoyo reached for the doorknob. "No!" Sakura hissed. She was lying on the bed. "I don't need to talk now!"

Tomoyo gave a sigh. "Sakura. They're your family."

Sakura fell back on the bed in exasperation.

Tomoyo got the door. "Um… Mr. Kinomoto… Sakura is a bit stressed and nervous right now."

Fujitaka gave a little pat on Tomoyo's shoulder. "I'm your uncle. And you sound like Sakura's nurse." He gave a little chuckle and slightly pushed Tomoyo aside to get to his daughter.

Sakura was sitting on her bed, rocking back and forth, and hugging her legs in front of her.

Touya and Tomoyo gave each other glances as they saw Fujitaka sit next to Sakura.

"Sakura," Fujitaka spoke to her. "I'm very surprised that you're… pregnant."

"I need you to take me to the doctor. Home tests aren't 100 accurate," Sakura said quickly.

"Yes… well, you have had to be more careful. It's your choice to do something, Sakura. You should've made the right one," Fujitaka said carefully. "There's a risk in everything you do."

"Dad… just a thought… what if I am pregnant?" Sakura said quietly.

"Then… it's your choice whether to have an abortion or put it up for adoption."

"What if I decide to keep it?" Sakura asked.

"Then… it will put a block into your plans for the future. You may not be able to go to University."

Sakura bit her lip and stared down at her hands. "I'm sorry… it's all my fault."

"Sakura… whatever you do, we're here to support you. We'll make it through," Fujitaka reassured her.

"Does the brat know?" Touya spoke up from the doorway. "He better be involved in this, too."

"No, he doesn't know. He's in South Korea with his parents," Sakura said.

"Sakura… there's a lot of responsibility involved in this. You're going to have to spend every single moment with the baby. You won't have free time to spend with your friends. I can't exactly say that I'm not angry or disappointed and hurt about this whole situation."

"I'm sorry." Sakura said quietly. "I'm sorry I made this family have a bad reputation. I'm such a shame." Sakura's eyes filled with tears.

"You're not a shame," Touya said.

"I have to go make an appointment with Doctor Aoyama," Fujitaka said, standing up. "Our talk isn't finished, Sakura."

"Okay," Sakura mumbled. Tomoyo shot her a sympathetic look.

"I'll go hunt for that kid," Touya said, shooting Sakura a dagger look.

"He's in South Korea, Touya!"

"Then I better book tickets for the quickest flight to there."

Tomoyo sat down next to Sakura. "I'm not sure he's joking," Sakura said as Touya left.

Tomoyo opened her arms. "Looks like you need a hug, Saku-chan."

Sakura smiled and hugged Tomoyo. "Thanks, Tom. You're the best!"

"I know I am," Tomoyo replied with a grin.

-

It was two days after Sakura told her father. Sakura lay on her bed, reading a book. A soft breeze flowed in to her room from the opened windows. Begonia Tree petals swirled into Sakura's room. The sun shone brightly, lighting up Sakura's room.

But today wouldn't exactly be a happy day.

Sakura abruptly dropped the book and sighed. She glanced at the bear Syaoran had given her for her 16th Birthday. She smiled and grabbed for it. She gave it a big hug. It felt like the bear was Syaoran, when he wasn't around.

"How am I going to tell Syaoran?" Sakura wondered to herself. "I hope he's not mad…"

Sakura sighed in happiness and a bit of past embarrassment when she remembered when she wasn't going out with Syaoran. When she had a crush on the hottest guy in school (what girl didn't?), Syaoran Li. She was dared by her friends to go kiss Syaoran Li unexpectedly. $35 was involved, so Sakura decided to do it.

"Go on, Sakura, go on!" Tomoyo whispered as she gave Sakura a little shove forward. Sakura was a bit embarrassed to walk up to Syaoran and his group of friends.

She gave a nervous glance back to her friends, but continued on forward. She reached Syaoran and his friends.

Sakura gave a tap on Syaoran's shoulder. He turned around…and did the most unexpected thing!

Syaoran turned around and was about to say "Ye—" when Sakura grabbed his head and her lips met his. They were both so surprised that they kissed for more than a few seconds. The whole time her hands were on his head.

Everyone around was whistling and catcalling. Tomoyo and Sakura's friends giggled and clapped and screamed, "Whooo hooo Sakura!"

Their lips parted. Sakura took her hands off his head, closed her eyes for a split second, and shook her head with a smile. Syaoran's face was shocked the whole time. Sakura winked at him, then flounced off to her friends.

Every guy was clapping and whistling at Sakura. Most girls shot evil dagger looks at Sakura.

"W-who was that?" Syaoran asked his friends. "And… why did she kiss me?"

And the rest was history (wink).

-

Sakura stood up and looked at the mirror. She glanced at her stomach. It wasn't that big, but Sakura was feeling particularly huge that day. Aw, man. Am I getting big already? And I just bought new clothes… I won't be wearing them for a long time… Sigh Sakura thought to herself as she studied herself in the mirror.

Just yesterday she, Tomoyo (who insisted on going) and Fujitaka had gone to the doctor's to make sure that Sakura was really pregnant. And she was.

The doctor gave them pamphlets and all sorts of advice about the pregnancy.

"Sakura, for your age, you might want to consider everything but keeping the baby," Dr. Aoyama said carefully.

Fujitaka nodded while Sakura clutched her purse. "I… guess," Sakura mumbled.

"I know you already want to keep it. But most teenage pregnancies don't turn out well. The babies or kids end up at orphanages or abandoned."

"I would never do that," Sakura defended. "I'm not a horrible person. I would never do that do a child!"

"Yes, Sakura, I know," the doctor reassured her. "It's just that… I'd rather see a young lady like you go to University and have a bright future for a good career. Having a baby will change that."

Sakura said nothing.

"You'll have a crying baby in your arms most of the day. While you're taking care of your child, you'll see your friends enter University and make something of them. So, think it over carefully Sakura," Dr. Aoyama said gently.

"We'll support you," Fujitaka spoke with a nod. "Whether you choose to keep it or not, it's your choice."

Tomoyo patted Sakura's shoulder.

"I-I need to think it over a couple of days. I'm not sure yet," Sakura said.

"Alright," the doctor said. "Give me a call when you decide."

"We'll call you soon," Fujitaka promised, standing up from chair.

"Thank you, doctor," Sakura said as she stood up herself.

"Anytime," Dr. Aoyama said. "And… listen. I've seen a lot of teens come into my office that are pregnant. And actually, some of the teens and their babies end up doing fine."

Tomoyo smiled. Sakura managed to put on a shaky smile.

Sakura sighed and flopped on the bed. "I wonder what Syaoran is doing now."

She didn't know that at that very moment, Syaoran was on his laptop, saying his final farewell to her.

**-Meanwhile, With Syaoran-**

"Syaoran, are you ready to leave?" Yelan called up the stairs to Syaoran's bedroom. "We have to be at the airport by ten!"

"Almost!" Syaoran called as he typed frantically on his laptop. His room was empty now, all the things removed by movers and packed away to be shipped off to his mansion in Hong Kong. "I'm just writing a letter to someone!"

He was writing an email to Tomoyo. He hoped Sakura and Tomoyo wouldn't be too mad at him. Wait, what was he kidding? Sakura would probably bawl her eyes out (his heart clenched at that) and Tomoyo would kill him for making Sakura cry.

"I have to write this email," Syaoran said. "Saying goodbye to Sakura would be too painful."

He was hurt a lot by his own response to his parents. He was shocked himself. But he thought it was the right thing to do. Hopefully, one day, Sakura would forgive him. But right now he had to go. He loved her so goddamn much that it hurt. After he told his parents, he cried secretly in his bedroom (A/N: Snicker!).

**Dear Daidouji (Tomoyo-san),**

**I truly regret to say this, but I am leaving. Please tell Sakura that I'm sorry and that I love her and hope one day she will forgive me.**

**I can't say where I'm leaving, or why. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you and Sakura in person because it would be too painful. I can't bear to see Sakura's tears.**

**I don't know if or when I will return. I might. Tell Sakura to forget about me. She should go on with her life and find some other guy that would make her happy and deserves her more than me.**

**Syaoran almost died when he wrote that part. He was practically crying now. He fingers shook. No, he didn't want Sakura to forget him! He didn't want her to move on and find another guy! No, dammit, Sakura was his!**

**"Why… why the hell did I make this decision?" Syaoran growled to himself as he slammed a fist on the table.**

**Thank you for everything, Daidouji, I will miss you. Of course I will miss Sakura more than anything in the world. I love her that much.**

**Sincerely,**

**Syaoran Li**

Syaoran clicked SEND to Tomoyo's email address. "I just hope that girl gets the email," Syaoran said. "Oh what the hell, who am I kidding? That girl leaves her computer on 24/7. I wonder how they can pay the electricity bill…"

"Syaoran?" Yelan called now, knocking on Syaoran's door. "We're leaving. Your father is downstairs, and the limo has arrived. Be quick, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just finished," Syaoran said, shutting his laptop and slipping it into the bag. He smiled at his mother.

Yelan was taken aback by this, but smiled almost too hard at Syaoran. He had never smiled at his parents that much.

"Let's go."

Yelan strode out the door, motioning for Syaoran to follow.

"I just hope I'm doing the right thing," Syaoran mumbled to himself.

-

"Mom, there's something I should tell you," Tomoyo said to her mom in the kitchen of their home. She was fixing herself breakfast and was in her blue pajamas.

"Yes?" Sonomi asked, sitting down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

"Sakura's pregnant," Tomoyo said, waiting for the worst to come from her mother.

Sonomi acted like she hadn't heard. She sipped her coffee for a while, a stony look beginning to appear on her face.

"Tomoyo… Sakura's pregnant," Sonomi said in a throaty voice. "I don't believe this…"

"Yes, she is," Tomoyo said. "And it's not like she planned it."

"Who's the father of the baby?" Sonomi asked as Tomoyo sat down beside her with a bowl of cereal.

"Her long-time boyfriend, Syaoran Li," Tomoyo answered, spooning cereal into her mouth. "We went to the doctor's yesterday and the doctor confirmed she was pregnant."

Sonomi sighed and shook her head. "What a world we're living in. Teens should be more careful."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes and continued eating.

"Poor Sakura-chan," Sonomi continued. "Is she keeping it?"

"She doesn't know yet," Tomoyo answered.

"Well… I hope she learned a lesson from all this," Sonomi replied as she shook her newspaper. She glanced at her daughter. "And I hope you learned from this, too."

"Mom!" Tomoyo protested. "Don't."

"I just hope you know."

A PING! Sounded from Tomoyo's computer in the living room. She made it loud enough so she could hear it from anywhere in the house.

"Tomoyo, turn that thing off once in a while," Sonomi complained to her daughter. "Our electricity bills are rocketing sky-high these days!"

"Yeah, yeah, just hold on a sec," Tomoyo dashed off to her computer. It turned out it was an email from Syaoran.

"What is Syaoran doing emailing ME all the way from South Korea?" Tomoyo said to herself, clicking away at the email.

Tomoyo pulled a nearby chair and sat on it. She read the email with lightning-fast eyes.

"W-what… Dear Tomoyo… I'm leaving… tell Sakura I love her?" Tomoyo shrieked. "Oh my god!"

"Tomoyo! Indoor voice!"

"Mom, I have to go to Sakura's! I got to show her this letter!" Tomoyo told her mother.

"Why? What's it for? Who sent it?' Her mother questioned.

"It's Li! Sakura's boyfriend! He's leaving!" Tomoyo rushed on.

"Leaving?" Sonomi repeated.

"Yes!" Tomoyo clicked PRINT on the computer and out came the letter.

"I'm leaving for Sakura's!" Tomoyo exclaimed as she ran out the door, clutching the paper.

And off she drove again, just like she did two days before when Sakura said she wanted Tomoyo to come over.

"What does Syaoran think he's doing? He's going to break Sakura's heart… oh my god Sakura didn't even tell Syaoran that she was pregnant! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Tomoyo started shrieking in the car for no apparent reason.

Tomoyo rushed into Sakura's house with the piece of paper in hand.

"SAKURA!" Tomoyo screamed.

Touya approached the shrieking Tomoyo. "Daidouji! What's up? Why are you shrieking?"

"It's… Li… leaving… Hong Kong!" Tomoyo sputtered trying to catch her breath.

_When you try your best but you don't succeed  
__when you get what you want but not what you need  
__when you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
__Stuck in reverse_

"Easy now. I'll go get Saku," Touya patted Tomoyo on the back, left and appeared with a bewildered Sakura.

"Tomoyo! Are you alright?" Sakura rushed to her best friend.

Tomoyo's face crumpled, but she didn't cry yet.

"Take the paper," Tomoyo whispered.

"Why?"

"TAKE IT!" Tomoyo thrust the paper at Sakura. "It just shows how you can't depend on men!"

"Huh?"

Sakura read the paper, her face crumpling up. Suddenly tears started streaming down her face.

_When the tears come streaming down your face  
__When you lose something you can't replace  
__When you love someone but it goes to waste  
__could it be worse?_

Sakura knees gave out beneath her, and she collapsed. While Touya and Tomoyo tried to get her up, she brought a hand to her mouth. Her eyes blinked with tears.

"H-how could he do this to me?" Sakura whispered. "He would've have done this if he loved me…"

-

Syaoran stared out the window of the limo. Rain splattered the car, and the sky was a dark gray. Just as he had left the mansion, Rain erupted from the sky and lightning and thunder could be heard and seen outside.

I'm so sorry Sakura… but I love you, Syaoran thought to himself. Maybe I'll be able to tell you one day.

"Excited about seeing all of your relatives again?" Yelan asked Syaoran, touching his arm slightly.

"I guess," Syaoran replied, still staring out the window.

"I'm sorry you had to make a choice, Syaoran," Yelan bit her lip. "But it's for the best. It's for everyone's sake."

"Except for my friends and Sakura," Syaoran said in a rather cold voice. He was shocked as his own words. He never spoke that coldly to his mother. He never disrespected her.

Yelan was a bit taken aback by his words. "You'll understand," she said softly, sitting back in her seat.

"Syao—" Jun began in a warning tone.

"No, no, it's fine, Jun," Yelan interrupted with a weak smile.

Syaoran took a deep breath. It seemed like his family was always tense. It was like they could never relax.

"I'm sorry," Syaoran said quietly. "I've made everything harder for you."

"No, no!" Yelan reassured him immediately. "Syaoran, don't say that! You've always made us proud to say that you were our son."

"And we've supported your decisions all the time, because they were the right ones," Jun added.

"Except… for falling in love with Sakura," Syaoran answered. "You never supported my decision to go out with her. You never liked her. I could see it in your faces. You didn't think she was good enough, even though she tried hard to make you like her. She was nice to you. And you treated her like dirt just because she wasn't rich or didn't have anything famous or something like that to her name. And because her father married his student."

_Lights will guide you home  
__and ignite your bones  
__And I will try to fix you_

Yelan and Jun were speechless. "Xiao Lang." Jun said. "You will not speak to us that way."

"It's our turn to be sorry," Yelan said remorsefully. "We never wanted our son to be mad at us or to think badly of us. We always wanted you to have the best."

"Sakura was the best," Syaoran told them, still staring out the window. "I think it's time for you guys to think of the person, not the things they have. You've been blind all this time."

Yelan looked ashamed. Jun looked away from his son.

"We're almost at the airport," the chauffeur told the family. "You should get ready."

"Thank you," Jun said to him.

-

Tomoyo and Touya both led Sakura to her bedroom. She plopped down on her bed, weeping and punching a pillow with her fists.

Tomoyo and Touya were mad themselves. They both swore they would kill Syaoran when they hunted him down.

"Tomoyo… how could he do this to me? Why? We were in love! Where did he go? Did he leave me for another woman…?" Sakura wailed.

"Oh, Sakura… I'm so, so sorry," Tomoyo whispered. "That guy is a jerk."

Sakura wept silently in her pillow. Oh Syaoran… why did you do this?

"Was it something I did?" Sakura whispered to Tomoyo, her voice barely audible.

"I'm sure it wasn't you… he just said that he loved you."

Sakura brought the letter to her eyes once more. "I don't want to move on!"

_High up above or down below  
__when you're too in love to let it go  
__If you never try you'll never know  
__Just what you're worth_

"Sa—" Tomoyo began

"No! Where is he going! I have to find him and catch him before he leaves! What does this mean? He's not living in Tomoeda anymore?" Sakura shouted, trying to wiggle out of Touya and Tomoyo's grasp.

"Sakura! No!" Touya exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Sakura… let it go. Just let it go," Tomoyo whispered.

Sakura burst into fresh tears and stopped trying to wiggle her way out. She collapsed onto the ground.

"Why did you leave me Syaoran?" Sakura said aloud. "You said you were never going to leave me… you broke your promise."

_Lights will guide you home  
__and ignite your bones  
__And I will try to fix you_

-

Syaoran sat on a cushioned chair in the airport, waiting for his flight to be called. Yelan's hand rested on Syaoran's shoulder. Yelan and Jun sat on either side of Syaoran. Both were very nervous.

"It's not a long flight," Yelan tried to ease the tension. "We'll be there pretty fast. I tried to book us a private flight, but none were available. And I tried coaxing some of our relatives to send us our private jet from Hong Kong, but they said it was in repairs. It seems like Meiling really got into flying and decided to try to fly our jet. She didn't make a smooth landing though, so one of the landing tires had to be repaired," Yelan shook her head. "Times have changed."

_Tears stream down your face  
__When you lose something you cannot replace  
__Tears stream down your face and I_

"Did Meiling get hurt?" Syaoran asked.

"No, she's fine," Yelan, said quickly.

"I wonder how much we have to pay for the repairs," Jun grumbled. "If you ask me, Meiling should be paying us off. She was the one who caused the damage."

"No one asked for your opinion," Syaoran spoke in a cold tone.

Yelan panicked. "Jun, she's our niece."

Jun didn't answer. And intercom blared, "Attention, Flight 426 to Hong Kong will now be boarding. I repeat, Flight 426 to Hong Kong will now be boarding. Thank you."

"That's us," Jun said as he stood up. Yelan grabbed her purse and ushered them onto the plane.

"I can't help feeling that I'm not doing the right thing," Syaoran said quietly.

"Don't worry, Syaoran. Once we get to Hong Kong, you'll have the feeling of truly being home, and you'll forget all about the past," Jun said as they settled themselves into their seats.

Syaoran said nothing, instead stared out the airplane window. He couldn't help but feel bad.

Thoughts of Sakura filled his head… her Eighteenth Birthday… watching the fireworks… New Year's… watching her smile and laugh. The way she hugged him in front of the whole school, and didn't care.

"Sakura…" he said whispered to himself. He felt tears streaming down his face. He pulled his hood over his chocolate-brown hair so his parents wouldn't notice.

_Tears stream down your face  
__I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
__Tears stream down your face and I_

-

Sakura clutched her pillow, lying on the bed. Tomoyo sat down next to her, a somber look on her face.

"Syaoran…" Sakura whispered to herself as a tear spilled out of the corner of her eye and on the pillow. "I love you…"

_Lights will guide you home  
__And ignite your bones  
__And I will try… to fix you_

-

Chapter Cleaned As of June 11th, 2006

A/N: Beautiful chapter… I almost cried myself. Odd… Well, there probably will be a Part III, but it will only be half the chapter (not toooo long). It took me a while, but I'm so happy I did it! And please, leave me a review!

Starfire Star


	4. Departures, Welcomes, And Farewells

**Dedication: This is dedicated to the Veterans of all the wars that they fought in, for our freedom, and all the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for our freedom. Lest we forget.**

**Thank you to everyone who stuck by this fic. You're wonderful! No shout outs this chapter, since I want to get everything going because I've been so late. Here ya go!**

-

**I'll Turn To You Now**

A CCS Fanfic by _Starfire Star_

Chapter 4: Departures, Welcomes, and Farewells That Didn't Last Forever

-

Syaoran's leave impacted everything surrounding Sakura. Not only was Sakura devastated— the whole family's lifestyles were disrupted. Sakura could barely leave her room. Tomoyo was always there to comfort her. She slept in the guestroom just to be with Sakura, when she stayed up all night crying. Touya and Fujitaka both took some afternoons off from work to comfort Sakura, too. But, as some people know, it takes time to heal a broken heart.

"Tomoyo… remember that day me and Syaoran were arguing in the hall?" Sakura whispered one day, lying in her bed, the covers pulled over her mouth, muffling the words a little. But Tomoyo could hear everything clearly.

'Oh no… what should I do?' Tomoyo panicked in her head. "Sakura… maybe we shouldn't talk about…"

"No… I have to," Sakura replied. She was a wreck. Her hair was messy, and looked unkempt. Her face was flushed a soft shade of pink, but her lips were chapped.

Tomoyo sat on the edge of Sakura's bed and calmly replied, "Yeah… why do you ask? It wasn't as important as your first date."

"Yeah… well…" blush crawled up Sakura's cheeks. "We didn't kiss on our first date."

Tomoyo smiled slightly and shrugged. "Oh well, it still had its good moments." Tomoyo's eyes shone slightly as she remembered Sakura and Syaoran's kawaii first date.

"Let's get back to the time we argued," Sakura said, interrupting Tomoyo's thoughts.

"Yeah?" Tomoyo said.

"Did you know what we were fighting about?" Sakura said softly, tracing the embroidery on the sheets.

Tomoyo glanced at the photos on the table. "Uh, no, I never really thought to ask."

"We made a big scene," Sakura said, laughing softly. "We shouldn't really have argued. It was a silly thing."

"Uh huh," Tomoyo said, not really listening. It sounded like Sakura was talking to herself.

"Guess what we argued about," Sakura paused, not waiting for Tomoyo to give a reply. "His ex."

"What?" Tomoyo glanced at Sakura. "What happened?"

"Kanna," Sakura said. "His ex. I heard from Rika that she saw her walk into his house."

"Well? Was it true?" Tomoyo asked.

_Sakura threw her binders and pencil case on the ground and threw her hands up in the air. "What the hell am I supposed to think?" Sakura exclaimed at an amber-eyed guy. _

"_You got to trust me. This isn't going to work out if you can't trust me!" Syaoran told her._

"_I don't know what to think!" Sakura sneered at him. "It's like I don't know you anymore! I don't know what you're doing…"_

"_Screw this," Syaoran muttered, turning to his locker and spinning the combination. "I don't have time for this crap. Look, Sakura, I love you and all, but you have got to stop thinking that I'm cheating on you!"_

_The whole hall way was focused on the couple. A couple of girls wore smirks and smiled at them. They wanted Syaoran to be single as soon as possible. A couple of guys just stood there, whispering among themselves and taking bets whether they were going to break up or not._

_Sakura's eyes shone with tears as she walked up to Syaoran, clutching his arm. "Don't do this… Syaoran… please."_

"_I'm not doing anything," Syaoran said to her, opening his locker and gathering his things._

"_Syaoran… please open up to me… tell me what's on your mind… what really happened?" Sakura said softly, squeezing his shoulder._

"_Nothing's on my mind," Syaoran said blankly. "I can't really talk to you right now."_

"_Syaoran! What happened!" shouted Sakura, angry tears instead of sad ones fell from her face._

_Syaoran slammed his locker door shut and turned to face the emerald-eyed girl who had stepped back from him. The girl he had grown to love._

"_Nothing happened!" Syaoran snarled at her. "She came to get her old things she left at my house when we were still going out!"_

_Two guys watched the scene, talking to each other excitedly. "10 bucks say that they won't break up," one whispered eagerly._

"_20 that they will," another shot back._

"_N-nothing happened?" Sakura asked._

"_No! She came in, stepped on the mat. I shoved the things in her hands and kicked her out of the house. And another thing—" Syaoran was interrupted by Sakura's lips, which had captured his in hers. He kissed her a little deeper this time, and now hoots and catcalls were being directed at them._

_Sakura broke the kiss first, a dreamy look on her face. She smiled at Syaoran, who smirked at her._

"_You didn't have to stop, you know," Syaoran smirked. Sakura smiled and giggled._

_Syaoran scooped up Sakura's books and he and her walked down the hall together, hand in hand. _

Sakura smiled softly. "It wasn't true," she said. "Hey… about him leaving… I'm not mad at him."

Tomoyo eyes grew wide. "You're not?"

"Well… just a little bit. But he gave me so many happy memories. I thank him for that," Sakura replied.

Tomoyo gave a small smile.

"Sakura…" Fujitaka knocked on the door and opened it a bit. "Don't be depressed like that. It's bad for the baby. A depressed baby is not what we need right now."

Sakura gave a small giggle. "Gomen."

"I'm just going to run a small errand for the University. I'll be back in an hour," Fujitaka told Tomoyo and Sakura. "Stay out of trouble." Fujitaka took another glance at Sakura. "How could I even think of saying that?" he muttered to himself as he shut the door.

"Sakura… how many weeks along are you, again?" Tomoyo turned back to Sakura.

"Well… three months," Sakura mumbled.

"Holy crap."

-

The news of Sakura's pregnancy spread like wild fire through the small town of Tomoeda. Some called Sakura "despicable" others were supportive. Others were even happy for her. But through it all, Sakura always tried to stay strong and confident.

Sakura, was, indeed, keeping the baby. Her family accepted it but warned her about the hard trials of parenthood. Also, Sakura made a decision about University. Once the baby was at least 2 years old, Sakura would go check with Tokyo U if they'd accept her again, and if not, she would go to the University of Tomoeda.

No more talk of Syaoran. Most people avoided speaking of him around Sakura. They knew she would get upset. Sakura and Tomoyo tried their best to forget about him.

Finally, September came. Tomoyo was reluctant to go to University without Sakura. They were both awfully upset that they would not be entering the University of their dreams together.

Sakura, Fujitaka, and Sonomi Daidouji stood near some benches inside a bus station. Tomoyo was due to leave in 15 minutes for Tokyo U, where she would have a dorm. Sonomi pointed out that they had the money to pay for her dorm, and it would be far too much time to keep commuting back and forth for classes.

Sonomi took a tissue and tried to stop the tears falling from her face. "My little baby… all grown up! I can't believe this day came so fast!"

Sakura was smiling but tears flooded her eyes. She could barely see.

Fujitaka nodded. "I'm sure you'll do well, Tomoyo. Make us all proud."

"Thanks, guys," Tomoyo grinned, but tears were almost flooding her eyes, too. "I promise to come home every weekend."

"As much as we miss you, surely not EVERY weekend! You must have co-curricular activities, work, homework, and perhaps a little "partying" to do!" Sonomi winked.

Tomoyo rolled her eyes. "I'm not the partying type of person."

Sakura managed a shaky laugh. She touched the slight bulge on her stomach.

"I'm sure you'll be here, when the baby comes," Sakura whispered. Fujitaka put his arm around his daughter.

"Of course!" cried Tomoyo, and that's when the tears came. She opened her arms and hugged Sakura tightly.

"I'm just going to miss you all so much!" Tomoyo said as she finally let go of Sakura.

"Don't worry. We'll always be here," Fujitaka assured her.

Sonomi was awfully quiet. She stood there, silently wiping huge tears that streamed down her cheeks.

"3 minutes until bus 405, departing at 9:30AM for Tokyo, will be leaving. Please, passengers, take that time to board the bus. Thank you." A voice blared from the speakers.

Sonomi burst into tears and so did Sakura.

"Oh, mom!" Tomoyo cried as she hugged her mother. "It's alright. I won't be gone long."

"I know, I know," sobbed Sonomi.

"I gotta go, mom," Tomoyo said as she hugged her mom tightly once more, then broke away.

She gave Fujitaka a hug. "See you later, Uncle," Tomoyo whispered.

"You take care, kiddo," Fujitaka replied.

Tomoyo turned to Sakura. "Saku, take care of yourself. And the baby." She lightly patted Sakura's stomach. "Don't forget to call me. Or write."

"Okay," Sakura said and managed a weak smile. "Don't worry!"

Sonomi and Fujitaka helped Tomoyo stash her bags and suitcases in the compartments.

"Tomoyo, we could've got you a private bus or train, or even a car to get you to Tokyo," grumbled Sonomi. "Then we could've avoided having to beat the rush."

"Love you guys," Tomoyo said to all of them with a wave as she disappeared onto the bus.

"Bus 405 will now be departing the station." The speakers blared.

The bus took off, with a tear-stricken Tomoyo waving the whole time as her mom, Sakura, and her uncle all got smaller and smaller, until she couldn't see them anymore.

Fujitaka, Sonomi and Sakura all headed back to the car.

All three of them were silent on the way home. Sakura stared out the window the whole time.

"Guess it's just me…" Sakura said, then taking a look at her stomach, said, "and you. All we have is each other, right?"

-

Sakura had mood swings and uncontrollable emotions throughout the entire pregnancy. Everyone, for the first time, was angry with her. But they tried hard not to show it.

One day, in her misery, boredom, and anger. She wrote letters. To Syaoran Li. Sakura cried when she wrote every one of them. They mostly talked about how much he hurt her. Also, in her fury, every last sentence said, "you have a child. And you didn't even know it." They also talked about how he would never get to know his child, and how she couldn't forget him. Sakura wrote one every day and mailed it, even though she didn't know his address.

On December 1st Sakura went into labor. When Sakura's water broke, Touya was the only one around.

Sakura was cheerfully making her bed when she realized her water broke. "Oh no… oh no… god… help…" Sakura burst into tears. They were huge sobs. She didn't even think to call for Touya.

Touya came, hearing her sobs, and said, "What's all the commotion abo—" He stopped in mid-sentence when he saw Sakura's water had broken.

"Oh god… is it happening? R-right now? What should I do? The hospital? Dad? Tomoyo? The police? Oh god!" Touya said frantically, not knowing what to do.

Suddenly Sakura's sobs turned into anger. "Just help me, dammit! Get. Me. To. A. Friggin. Hospital!" Sakura said through gritted teeth.

"R-Relax, Sakura! Everyone knew this would come sooner or later, so just grab the bag you packed last week and we'll get you to the damn hospital!" Touya told her, flinging out his cell phone.

"Don't waste minutes! You know it's a waste to use a cell phone when we have a home phone!" Sakura said, glaring at him punching numbers into the cell phone.

"Sorry, Sakura, but in case you haven't noticed, this is sort of an emergency!" Touya shot back.

Sakura and Touya made it to the hospital. Sakura was screaming Touya's ear off, angry at him. And Touya was irritated.

The doctors took Sakura away. Touya took this time to call Tomoyo and write up some papers.

Tomoyo was acting worse than Sakura, if possible. You'd think that TOMOYO was the one in

"WHAT? Sakura's in the hospital and you didn't call me sooner? What kind of brother are you? Sakura needs me there!" Tomoyo screamed into the phone.

Touya rubbed his head in annoyance and frustration. "Listen, Tomo—"

Just then Fujitaka came rushing to Touya, breathless. "I'm here! I'm here! Wha—"

Fujitaka was interrupted by Tomoyo's shouting over the phone.

"I'M COMING TO TOMOEDA WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! WHICH HOSPITAL ARE YOU AT? I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE TO PLOW MY WAY THROUGH THE SNOW! YOU HEAR ME, TOUYA KINOMOTO?" Tomoyo yelled through the phone.

Fujitaka gave Touya a weird look. "Is Tomoyo alright?" Fujitaka whispered to his son.

Touya nodded and turned back to the phone. "Fine. Stop yelling my ear off. We're at frickin' Tomoeda General Hospital. Not St. Andrew's. Got it?" Touya was trying strongly to resist the urge to yell back at Tomoyo.

"Fine! I'll be on my way!" Tomoyo snapped as she shut her phone.

Touya closed his own cell phone and turned to his father. "Tomoyo acts like she's the one pregnant," Touya rolled his eyes.

"Tomoyo can be a little over dramatic, but hey, we're talking about Sakura here," Fujitaka nodded. "Speaking of Sakura, how is she?"

Touya shrugged. "Didn't see her go to the room."

Fujitaka's eyes grew wide. "What? You mean that she's been alone all this time!"

Touya smiled meekly. "Sorry?"

Fujitaka raced to the receptionist and yelled, "KINOMOTO!"

The receptionist looked startled and confused and a little scared. "Uh, uh, yes s-sir, she's in room um, 203. 3rd floor. On the right. A-are you family?" the receptionist said, scared.

"Yes, I'm family!" Fujitaka snapped as he raced down the hall and to an elevator.

Touya glanced at the receptionist. "I think I'll write up those papers now."

------

On December 2nd, Sakura had her baby. It was a girl.

Fujitaka, Touya, Tomoyo, and Sonomi all crowded around Sakura. There were lots of "Ooohs" and "Ah!" and "Eee!"

"Do you have a name?" Sonomi asked Sakura as she held the baby, playing with its little hands.

"No… I was think of maybe naming it after my mother," Sakura smiled.

Everyone grinned, smiled, and nodded.

"Meiko," Fujitaka said out of the blue. When everyone looked at him strangely, he replied to their looks with, "Nadeshiko always loved that name."

Sakura gently took the baby from Sonomi. "I like that name."

"How about naming the baby after me, Saku-chan!" Tomoyo grinned. "It's a nice name too!"

"It's okay," Sakura smiled softly. "I think I'll name her Meiko."

"There's a blizzard outside," Fujitaka remarked. "Very unusual for early December."

"Maybe it's Meiko's magic," Tomoyo joked. "The power of a storm."

-

In the years Meiko was growing up, Sakura was a dedicated mother. She always had time for Meiko, even when she began her courses at U of Tomoeda. Touya got married when Meiko was six, and after that Fujitaka, Sakura, and Meiko moved into a different house. Then it was Sakura's turn to move out. She could finally support herself and Meiko, after switching jobs quite a few times. Sakura remembered Syaoran not too often, she was busy with things that were actually in her life. She didn't bother to get burdened with the past again.

And there you have it.

**-Present-**

"Meiko, hurry up!" Sakura called to her daughter. "We have to be at your fashion show in 30 minutes!"

"Coming!" Meiko called as she thumped down the stairs. "Hey, mom, don't you love this Tomagotchi Tomoyo got me?" She held up her virtual pet.

"I really don't understand why Tomoyo spoils you like crazy," Sakura sighed as she took another look in the mirror. "Let's go."

"Maybe it's because I'm likeable. You're just grouchy all the time," Meiko stuck her tongue out at her mother as they started walking out on the sidewalk.

Oh, shush," Sakura rolled her eyes. "I'm perfectly likeable."

"H-hey!" Meiko yelped. "Why aren't we taking the car?"

"Because we're walking," Sakura grabbed Meiko's arm and continued along the sidewalk again.

"But we're going to be late!" Meiko practically screamed at her mother.

"We wouldn't be if you didn't take so long," Sakura grumbled. "And besides, we're only walking up to Tomoyo's house. She'll drive us from there."

"Why not take the new car?" Meiko gazed longingly at Sakura' brand-new silver Volvo.

"Because I don't want to pollute the air, don't want to pay for gas, and so and so," Sakura told her.

"Since when did you become such a nature lover?" Meiko rolled her eyes. She threw her hands up in the air. "Why does—" She stopped in mid-sentence when she realized her Tomagotchi was thrown in the middle of the road.

"Oh no! My Tomagotchi!" Meiko cried as she ran into the road.

"No! No! Meiko! Wait!" screamed Sakura as she ran into the road after her daughter.

They saw the lights of a black car coming toward them. Meiko and Sakura both screamed as Sakura wrapped her arms around her daughter. Then all was silent as the car stopped.

**-Rewind 20 Seconds-**

"Oh crap, where the hell is that damn hospital?" A chestnut brown haired man muttered to himself.

Just then his cell phone rang, startling him. It dropped to the floor of his car. "Oh shit, this doesn't help matters," the amber-eyed man said as he felt the ground of the floor for his cell phone. The phone continued to ring. "All right! I know!" he said through gritted teeth. He looked to the ground of the floor and grabbed the cell phone. He stood back up. And flipped opened the phone. "H-hell—" He didn't get to finish, because the next thing he knew he was hearing screams. "Oh my—!" yelled the man.

He could see a little girl and her mother standing in the road, the mother's arms protective around the little girl's body. And the next thing he knew, he had hit them.

-

A man climbed out of the car which had hit Meiko and Sakura. "Oh my god," the man said in panic as he ran to the females he had hit.

"Someone get help!" there were people who came out of their houses, and in horror, fled back into their houses to dial 911.

The man took a closer look at the two females. He was pretty shaken up. There was blood everywhere, and his car suffered some damage.

The man looked closer at the two females in panic, who were sprawled on the ground. And his heart practically stopped. The familiar auburn hair, the emerald eyes (which were half open) came rushing back to him. Then he fainted on the ground next to them.

-

Chapter Cleaned As of June 11th, 2006

Please Review! I made a few minor adjustments, nothing big.


	5. The Emotions That Wash Over The Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP has the right to say that they do. But I do not.

-

**I'll Turn To You Now  
**A CCS Fanfic by _Starfire Star_

Chapter Five: The Emotions That Wash Over The Past

-

Eriol Hiiragizawa was a handsome, blue-haired doctor with glasses that seemed to illuminate the emotions that appeared on his face. He was a doctor at Tomoeda General Hospital. He also happened to be Syaoran's life-long friend; even though they were miles apart their whole lives.

Today the expression on his face was very grim. Yesterday afternoon he had two patients come in, an auburn-haired woman and a young girl, her daughter. One of their fates was uncertain and quite concerning. Eriol Hiiragizawa had a reputation for being one of the best doctors in Tomoeda General Hospital, and one of the kindest. So it was no wonder he was worried for two of his sickest patients.

Eriol glanced at his clipboard as he sat on a couch in the ISU (Intensive Care Unit) and sighed. A young woman and her daughter had been admitted just yesterday. They were both unconscious when they were admitted and haven't waken up.

He glanced at the young purple-haired woman who sat on a couch near the room of the young woman. He glanced back down at his clipboard. The young woman's (Sakura's) name was… what was it again? Sakura… Sakura Kinomoto. Eriol's mouth dropped wide open. Kinomoto… this name was familiar. And Eriol knew exactly why it was familiar. He gulped and stood up. As he walked up to the purple-haired woman, he pushed his glasses up his nose even though they weren't slipping down.

Tomoyo eagerly stood up as Eriol approached her. He shook her hand. "I'm Dr. Eriol Hiiragizawa," he said, noticing her pretty purple hair and amethyst eyes. Except her amethyst eyes were watering with fresh tears and her pretty hair was messy and unkempt. It looked like she hadn't had a very good sleep, or perhaps didn't sleep at all.

"And you are a… friend of Ms. Kinomoto, correct?" he continued gently as Tomoyo anxiously smoothed out her skirt.

"Relative," Tomoyo corrected. "I'm her cousin, Tomoyo Daidouji." She looked away when her amethyst eyes met Eriol's blue ones.

Eriol cleared his throat. "I have some news… would you like to hear it? Or would you like to wait for Ms. Kinomoto's brother and…" Eriol glanced at his papers again, "her father?"

Tomoyo paused, and then said to Eriol quietly, as if she was tired and fragile, "You can tell me the news now. Sakura's father told me on the phone that he wouldn't arrive for another two hours or so. He was on a business trip. And her brother and his family live all the way in Tokyo, but they're trying to get here as fast as they can."

Eriol nodded solemnly. He glanced once again at his papers (sigh). "Well, Ms. Daidouji… Ms. Kinomoto is recovering slowly, but surely. She had two broken ribs, and a fractured arm. We expect her to wake up any moment now…"

Tomoyo nodded. "Dr. Sasaki told me." Dr. Sasaki was the other doctor monitoring Sakura and Meiko. She and Eriol had different shifts.

Eriol cleared his throat again. "And Meiko…" Eriol sighed and shook his head. "Meiko's future is… uncertain. But we ran some tests after seeing rather large bruises on her body… and the results are not good. Meiko has leukemia."

Tomoyo's face crumpled up and she began to sob huge tears that fell onto her skirt. Eriol looked at her, a helpless expression on his face. At last, he sighed, reached over to Tomoyo and hugged her, something that surprised Tomoyo.

Tomoyo continued to sob uncontrollably, not wanting to let go of Eriol as she hugged him tightly. Eriol closed his eyes, slowly becoming uncomfortable.

"Um… um… Ms… Ms. Daidouji? I have patients to get to," Eriol said timidly amid the purple-haired woman's loud sobs.

"I-I'm sorry…" Tomoyo said between sobs. She reached into her purse and pulled out a couple of tissues and slowly dried her eyes, still sobbing. "Dr. Hiiragizawa... Meiko's condition is through genetics, right? Because her grandmother had cancer…"

Eriol solemnly looked down at his hands. "I'm very sorry to hear that. I suspected it was through genetics…"

Tomoyo just began blurting things out, not caring that her emotions caused her to say things that she didn't even notice she was saying. "I'm such a bad aunt, such a bad aunt…"

"Well, no, Ms. Daidouji," Eriol began. "DON'T CALL ME MS. DAIDOUJI! WHAT AM I, OLD OR SOMETHING? IT'S TOMOYO, YOU HEAR? CALL ME TOMOYO!" Tomoyo practically screamed at him, sniffling. She threw her tissue at the shocked doctor.

"Oh, oh no… oh my, I'm so, so sorry," Tomoyo's eyes grew wide and she immediately apologized. "It's just that it's so unexpected…"

Eriol nodded. "It's quite alright…" he straightened his glasses.

After moments of awkward silence, those involving Tomoyo to burst into fresh tears, Eriol finally spoke. "Tomoyo… I have to leave. But I have one last question: who is Meiko's father and where is he?"

Tomoyo was surprised at Eriol's question. No one had asked her about Syaoran for 10 years… she wasn't ready to reveal the dark part about her best friend's life.

"The father…" Tomoyo's voice was raspy. "Left Sakura when Sakura was three months pregnant. He never knew about the child… his name was…" Tomoyo's words caught in her throat. "Syaoran Li."

'Syaoran Li.' The name echoed in Eriol Hiiragizawa head. So his suspicions had been confirmed. Eriol shook his head… Syaoran had a child. Oh no…

Syaoran moved to Hong Kong when he was eighteen, and was reunited with his good friend Eriol Hiiragizawa. Syaoran was, during the first few months in Hong Kong, cold, and barely talked to anyone except Eriol, unless he was addressed.

Syaoran never told anyone this, but he was heartbroken over leaving the possible love of his life, Sakura Kinomoto. He kept his feelings hidden inside. To some people, he was the same old cold-hearted Syaoran Li. To others, he was the different, in some way, scornful sad Syaoran Li. He was even slightly mean to his favourite cousin, Meiling Li. That was another sign of something wrong. He had always been kind to Meiling and treated her like a sister.

Eriol glanced at his clipboard again and back at Tomoyo. "Syaoran Li was the one who hit Sakura and Meiko."

-

Tomoyo eyes immediately flashed with rage. "What's that bastard doing in Tomoeda? He should be banished to hell with all that he put Sakura through!"

Eriol said uncomfortably, "Calm down, Tomoyo. Once everyone involved with this situation is aware and knowledgeable of everything, you'll be able to say what you want to say."

Tomoyo sighed and bit her lip. "This is just so heartbreaking and heart wrenching."

-

Eriol left a very anxious Tomoyo to go check on Syaoran's progress. He peeked into the door to find Syaoran asleep.

Eriol stood in the room and chuckled, writing things on his clipboard. "I know you're frickin there, Eriol Hiiragizawa," a voice growled. It was Syaoran. His fiery amber eyes were open now, and he was glaring at Eriol.

"Do you know what fucking hell I went through to find this hospital? Your stupid instructions were damn messed up," Syaoran growled. "Now look at the mess I've gotten into."

Eriol merely laughed. "Don't worry, Syaoran, you'll be out of the hospital tomorrow. You're not messed up. The only thing that really messes up you is your legal troubles."

Syaoran glared at Eriol. "What the hell are you talking about?'

Eriol laughed again, amused. "Don't you remember the two people you hit? They're going to be suing the pants off you."

Syaoran put a hand to his head and remembered the emerald eyes he had looked into before. His head ached. "Are they okay?" he said slowly.

Eriol face turned solemn as he shook his head. "I don't know, Syaoran. But the best thing you could do is talk to them and work things out. Well, at least talk to the older woman."

Syaoran looked down at his hands. He felt low, even though he didn't show it. He felt lower than low, he felt like scum. He had hit two people, and most likely their lives were in danger. And all because of a stupid cell phone. Why the hell did it have to be like this?

"Who are the people I hit?" Syaoran said slowly.

Eriol shook his head. "You want to know?"

"Yes."

But the truth was, he already knew who one of the people were. The mesmerizing emerald eyes were like no one else's and he'd recognized it immediately. It was the woman he left with the burden of not saying goodbye. The woman he loved for so long. The woman who caused his family to leave, the woman who caused his to hate his family. The woman who he just might still be in love with.

Eriol didn't have to say it. He already knew.

The woman was Sakura Kinomoto.

-

Syaoran got released the next day, with the orders not to leave town. Great. He had to stay in the town that had brought him so many good memories, and a couple of painful ones, too. Syaoran decided to visit Eriol Hiiragizawa again (that was the whole point of him coming to Tomoeda in the first place), and to secretly know the condition that Sakura was in. He still didn't know what relations she had to the little girl.

Syaoran walked into the hospital, hoping not to be seen. A secretary greeted him. "Hello, Mr. Li. What brings you back here?"

Syaoran shrugged and said, "I have to talk to Dr. Hiiragizawa."

The secretary nodded. "He's on his lunch break, so I'm sure he can talk to you."

Syaoran found Eriol walking mindlessly around the hospital, turkey sub and coke in hand. "Syaoran?" Eriol said as he saw Syaoran walking towards him.

"No dummy, the frickin ghost from Christmas Past," Syaoran said sarcastically. "Can we talk?"

"I dunno? I can talk, but I'm not sure if you can talk the same language as me," Eriol said goofily.

"Cut with the crap," Syaoran growled. He sat on a waiting couch and Eriol sat next to him.

"Listen, can you tell me what room Sakura Kinomoto is in?" Syaoran said, almost not wanting to say it.

Eriol gave him a Look. "Sakura Kinomoto? Syaoran, I'm no sure if that's…."

Syaoran interrupted him. "Look, I just need to see her. We have some… things…. to sort out."

Eriol paused. He then sighed. "She's unconscious."

Syaoran nodded and stood up, then paused as Eriol said, "don't be burdened with the past."

Syaoran blinked. What the hell did that mean?

-

Syaoran carefully stepped into Sakura's room. Sakura was breathing steadily, her eyes closed, her auburn hair a mess. Syaoran gave her a small smile. That was a rare smile. Syaoran had found nothing to smile about for the past ten years.

He sat down on a chair next to Sakura's chair. He took in all of her, her messy hair, her soft skin.

He looked down at his hands. Then he took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry, Sakura. I'm sorry for leaving you." He paused again.

The he softly said, "I'm not going to leave. I'm not going to make that mistake again."

Syaoran didn't want to admit it, but he knew that he was still in love with her.

"You're still as beautiful as ever, Ying Fa."

-

Syaoran left the room quickly and sat on a couch in the waiting room. He put his head in his hands. "What the hell did I get myself into," he muttered.

Just then, Tomoyo Daidouji came into the room. Her eyes grew wide, and with a little gasp, she dropped the cup of coffee she had bought in the hospital cafeteria.

"You," she said in a threatening tone, "what are YOU doing here?"

Syaoran said nothing. He looked at his hands. "I'm trying to take care of the crap I got myself into," he muttered at her. "Is it a crime to be at the hospital?"

"Of course not," Tomoyo said coolly. "But it is a crime if you're trying to see a patient you don't have the authority to see."

"Tomoyo, I—" Syaoran began, but Tomoyo burst into rage.

"Why do you just waltz into here like everything is alright? Do you know how much pain you made Sakura go through? She had just gotten her life together and now you have to come back and mess it all up? Don't hurt her, Syaoran! Don't you dare hurt her again!" Tomoyo cried.

Syaoran stood up, full of his own rage. "She's not the only frickin person who has feelings! Thanks to her, I am actually aware of my feelings, before, I was unfeeling, and then she made me feel! I thank her for that, really, but do you know how painful it was to leave her? Do you think I actually want to hurt her? Why do you think I was her boyfriend for two years? Is that all you think boyfriends want to do— break their girlfriend's heart? Well you got that all wrong, Tomoyo Daidouji!"

Tomoyo snarled in disgust. "I don't think you have a good reason to break Sakura's heart, Syaoran Li."

"I did," Syaoran said in a low, threatening voice. "Do you know why I left? Because it was my "rightful duty to become Li Clan Leader". But hell, that all went down the drain! I left for nothing! I broke her heart for nothing! So that just makes me a bastard, right?"

"Li Clan Leader?" Tomoyo repeated.

"Yes. Ever since I was born, I was the next person to become the Li Clan Leader. My parents had this all planned out, but when I fell in love with Sakura… (he said it painfully) everything having to do with the Li Clan spiraled out of control. My parents didn't think Sakura was frickin good enough to be with me! They made me feel guilty, and now I really hate them for it. I chose them over Sakura, and it didn't even work out," Syaoran said furiously.

"Wh—" Tomoyo was interrupted by a nurse yelling, "Get Dr. Hiiragizawa here pronto! Ms. Kinomoto has just woken up!"

Tomoyo's eyes grew wide as she glanced at Syaoran, and then ran to Sakura's room. Syaoran followed closely behind her.

They swept breathlessly into Sakura's room. There was Sakura, her emerald eyes confused and curious. She glanced at Tomoyo, then at Syaoran. Then her eyes grew wide as she whispered, "It's you. Xiao Lang, why did you come here?"

-

Chapter Cleaned As of June 11th, 2006.

Please review


	6. Glimpse of Reason: Part I

**Sorry for the late update. I have just released a new mini fic, titled Kismet. Please check it out. It would make me very happy. **

Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP has the right to say that they do. But I do not.

Dedication: A special, special thanks to Aisaki Sumi, YamaPi-Love, Starjade, and the other special authors (My Favourite Authors List) who have given me such great inspiration and written stories very close to my heart. I cannot thank you enough, and dedicate this and the next chapter to you guys! Thanks!

-

**I'll Turn To You Now**  
A CCS Fanfic by _Starfire Star_

Chapter Six: Glimpse of Reason Part I  
  
-

Sakura blinked, sure that she was dreaming. She's had dreams involving Syaoran, but never like this. What did a hospital have to do with Syaoran?

Had she become one of those people who are aware they're dreaming and could control their movements in the dream? To test that theory, she moved her arm, wincing at the slight pain from the stiffness that came in return. She glanced at her arm, and her mouth made a perfect o-shape. Tubes were stuck in her arms, and a monitor was beeping beside her.

Disgusted, Sakura turned away and closed her eyes. She opened them again, quickly like a heartbeat, and her wary emerald eyes grew wide. If she was in pain, she couldn't be dreaming.

She glanced at the two people at the doorway. Tomoyo and Syaoran. Tomoyo she could understand… but where did Syaoran come from?

Suddenly she was frightened. She bit her lip forcefully. Her breath quickened, shaky like she couldn't breathe. Tears erupted from her eyes, though no sound escaped her lips. Quiet, wet tears fell from her face onto her hospital gown. She wiped them with the back of her hand and fell back onto her pillow. She turned to the side, not wanting anyone to see her.

Voices started calling out her name, but she tried to block them out and think about what she just saw. She was delirious. These were emotions she hadn't felt for years… why was she hurt? Why was she in the hospital?

These questions caused everything to erupt and come back to her. She remembered everything that had happened before. A car came hurtling towards her and Meiko and…

Meiko!

Where was Meiko? What happened to her? Suddenly fearing the worst, the bottled up sound of her tears escaped her lips, as she wept, sad moans filling the hospital room. It was all her fault. She shouldn't have walked. She should have taken the car. All her stupid little beliefs of pollution were beliefs that her daughter couldn't comprehend, and look where it got them. Hurt and dead.

"Sakura-chan!" She heard the voice of Tomoyo. "Sakura, I've been so worried!" Sakura saw Tomoyo's purple hair swift by as she came to my side. Sakura didn't feel like looking at her, so she closed her eyes. She just wanted to be alone.

No other movement was in the room, and that was just fine with Sakura. That meant Syaoran wasn't taking a step anywhere. She would prefer for Syaoran to leave, but if he wasn't showing his face to her, she was fine with that. Sakura knew that seeing Syaoran's presence would bring back many painful memories.

Sakura turned around, not wanting Tomoyo to stare at her face anxiously and longer. Her auburn hair fell in her face, but she didn't bother to move it. She knew it was a pathetic attempt to pretend to be asleep.

"Sakura." Just then she heard it. The voice that she didn't want to hear, but knew that she would hear. Syaoran Li's voice. From her faint but painful memories she didn't want to remember but remembered anyway, she compared the voices.

This Syaoran, the one in the present, 10 years from when she last saw him and heard his voice, had a more mature voice. How could his voice not mature? He was twenty-eight now, not eighteen.

His voice had the same rich tone that she had fallen in love with ten years before. His voice was firm, reassuring, but questioning. Sakura wanted to block it out. The memories that were jolting inside her were painful. Anything of Syaoran's that Sakura could sense was painful.

Sakura was now aware that Syaoran was coming closer. His shoes made taps on the hard linoleum of the hospital floor. She could feel the swift air move the lightest of her bed sheets.

Sakura was going to burst now. Her heart began thumping wildly, her breath quickened, and suddenly she couldn't take it anymore.

She abruptly sat up in bed, almost letting the tubs on and in her arms break off, her tears falling freely now. "What are you doing here," Sakura whispered in a cold, tearful voice.

Syaoran stared, his mouth slowly parting, but aware of what he was doing, quickly shut him mouth. After a few silent moments, Syaoran simply said, "I ask myself the same question."

Sakura's lip trembled. "Why are you back, Syaoran? Why did you come back?" Syaoran's face pained at the look on her face.

Sakura began to get dizzy. She felt like she couldn't breath; her heart was pounding in her ears. Her eyelids fluttered, not knowing whether to shut them or keep them open.

Tomoyo's eyes grew wide at Sakura's strange actions. She couldn't breathe as the monitor by Sakura's bed started beeping frantically.

Sakura could barely hear what they were saying. The voices grew fuzzy, the words could no longer be distinguished.

Tomoyo panicked. She immediately pressed the Nurse Call button behind Sakura's bed. "Someone, help!" Tomoyo shouted.

Syaoran's knees felt like jelly. He put a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes, wishing he were anywhere but here. He should have known this was coming. Sakura wasn't the type of person to completely heal her scars. Sure, she would get over them, but they still wouldn't completely heal. They were waiting there, deep in her soul, for someone to expose those wounds, letting all pain unfold.

Immediately a nurse ran into the room. "Ms. Kinomoto!" Then she hastily yelled, "DR. HIIRAGIZAWA!"

Eriol immediately dashed into the room. "Excuse me, but I would prefer if you two would wait outside," he told Tomoyo and Syaoran as the nurses examined Sakura and the monitor.

Tomoyo stomped out of the room, eyes filled with tears. "You dirty bastard!" she said shrilly, pointing a finger at Syaoran. "Why did you see her? She's not well yet, she can't handle all this pressure! Thanks a lot, Syaoran Li. Thank you for making Sakura's condition more serious."

"How could you say that," Syaoran said tiredly, "you don't even know if I've made her worse!" Syaoran knew that was a weak comeback. Obviously if the monitor went ballistic when she saw him, then something serious happened.

Tomoyo snorted. "I think your pathetic pea-sized brain was affected the day you hit Sakura and Meiko!" She wiped the tears with the back of her hand.

"Daidouji, I'm not going to bother to fight you," Syaoran said, flopping onto an armchair and covering his face with his hands. "We're adults. Don't forget that. Let's just discuss this calmly and rationally."

Tomoyo glared at him and turned away. "No, thank you."

There was silence until Eriol Hiiragizawa emerged from the room, eyes glued to the clipboard.

Tomoyo immediately rushed up to him, and grabbed his coat. "Tell me she's okay!"

"She's fine," Eriol nodded in agreement. "She had a very small panic attack. It's under control, and she's conscious, but I prefer if she didn't see any visitors right now."

Tomoyo jabbed a manicured finger in Syaoran's direction. "It's all his fault."

Suddenly a nurse rushed out of Sakura's room, looking annoyed and worried. "Ms. Kinomoto wants to see Ms. Daidouji and Mr. Li?"

Eriol immediately opened his mouth in protest. "I don—"

The nurse gave me a glare. "She threw one of her gift stuffed animals at me. She threw a rather violent fit when I said no visitors were allowed."

"It must be the drugs," Eriol said thoughtfully. Tomoyo glared at him. "Can we see her?"

Eriol looked at her. "Then I'll have to supervise."

Tomoyo barged into the room. Sakura bit her lip at Tomoyo's appearance. "Sorry for making you feel worried," she said quietly.

"It's alright! I'm just glad you're not dead," Tomoyo shook her head, forcing a smile on her face.

Syaoran was at the doorway, his back facing the side. Even though he weakly defended himself after the ballistic beeping of Sakura's monitor, he felt that he probably shouldn't go in. His eyes traced the tiles of the ground, and even though he wasn't looking, in his ears echoed Sakura's voice as she spoke to Tomoyo. Her voice wasn't like back then, where her voice was innocent and gentle. Her voice now sounded strained and stressed, and not as gentle as the summer breeze.

Sakura's eyes trailed to Syaoran. She bit her lip as her eyes traced every aspect of his perfect body. She thought he was hot before, but now, he was absolutely breathtaking.

Sakura blushed at her own thoughts. How dare she think that? Don't forget, this was the man who brought her so much pleasure and pain years before, and even now. Wait… this would be a good time to let it all out, right? Why not? She wasn't going anywhere.

Tomoyo stopped her worried, seemingly happy chatter as Sakura's eyes grew serious. "Syaoran."

Syaoran looked up. Yes, his name was spoken by Sakura. What was she going to say?

"J-just answer this one question for me," Sakura said, her voice shaking now. She couldn't back out now. She couldn't run away. No, she was going to get this over with.

"W-what was your reason for leaving me?"

Syaoran's eyes grew wide as he unfolded his crossed arms and turned to face her. "The Li Clan." The words that escaped his lips were said without any emotion.

"The… Li Clan?" Sakura asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Syaoran nodded. "I was to start my training as Li Clan leader when I was eighteen. My parents cold-heartedly convinced me it was my rightful duty, and I owned to my family, China, and the Clan."

"S-so… I was of no importance in your decision?" Sakura dared to ask, willing to go farther for the truth.

"Of course you were!" Syaoran said fiercely, his amber eyes full of hurt at the thought of his memories. He stepped forward now. "Don't think that you weren't important Sakura! You were the only thing I could think of while I made my decision. It was hard, and I was stupid! I was stupid now that I made the wrong decision! I thought it was the best thing to do. But hell, I was wrong." Syaoran let out a rueful laugh. "That all went down the drain."

Sakura, unwilling to keep it in any longer, sat up and said, "Why, Syaoran, why did you not say goodbye to me properly?" Sakura's eyes flooded with tears. "Why did you have to do it through Tomoyo?"

"Saying goodbyes like that would be too painful," Syaoran looked away. "For both you and me."

"If the Li Clan was so important, then why are you here?" Sakura practically shouted, shaking her head, the tears flowing freely now.

"It's a long story," Syaoran said, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Sakura shot back.

"Fine. The truth is, when I went to Hong Kong, the Elders were prepared to check out my records and documents and everything in order to begin my training," Syaoran said this in a barely audible voice. "That's when everything changed."

"The Elders went as far as to check out legal things and criminal records for both me and my father. That's when my mom and the Elders found out my dad had an affair," Syaoran looked up from the linoleum. He walked to a chair next to Sakura's bed and sat down.

"The Elders did a little more searching… and found something out that even my father didn't know. My father had a son," Syaoran's eyes flashed with anger and coldness.

"This son of his was older than me. He was born around a year after my sister Sheifa was born. So I ended up having gone to Hong Kong for nothing, because the Li Clan Leader title was taken away from me, seeing as there was an older male heir than me."

Sakura looked down, gripping the bed sheets around her.

"My mother couldn't take it. She immediately filed for divorce. My dad was only too happy to divorce her. Their marriage was becoming rocky, and my mom accused my dad of being a workaholic, being out too much, and not spending enough time with his family. My parents said a lot of hurtful things to each other during their marriage.

And then, after the divorce, when we thought we had all the pain we could take, my father married the woman he had an affair with, and the Li Clan's fate was sealed. So this completely new family replaced my family and had the life we were supposed to have.

And," Syaoran said, his voice hoarse and cold. "The funny thing is, after he signed the papers, he packed his bags and left. He didn't say goodbye to his own family. Not to me, nor any of my sisters. Ultimately, the house he left was taken away from us, anyway. Since it was Li Clan property, and we were no longer allowed to live in it."

"S-Syaoran… I'm so sorry," Sakura whispered, her face filled with remorse, forgetting all the hatred and dislike towards him for coming back.

"No, I'm sorry Sakura. I'm sorry I left you because I thought I had made the right decision. I was wrong all this time," Syaoran said, head down, staring at the ground.

There was tense silence, Tomoyo nervously shuffling her feet, Eriol readjusting his glasses over and over again.

"I'm sorry I hit you. Go ahead and sue me," Syaoran said, still not looking at anyone.

Sakura gained her senses. She was conscious of everything that had happened now. Still, what he did was unforgivable. This was a chance to speak it.

"Don't say sorry to me," Sakura said fiercefully, biting her lip. "You should say sorry to our daughter."

Eriol and Tomoyo glanced at each other and looked back at Sakura. Syaoran looked up, his amber eyes wide. "What?"

Sakura nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "Her real name is Meiko Kinomoto Li. She's ten years old. She's our daughter. And you hit her with your car."

Sakura felt dizzy after she said it. Oh no, she thought to herself. I'm going to faint. Please, don't let me have another panic attack!

But before she knew it, Syaoran had slumped into his chair and blacked out. He beat her to it.

-

**Is this a crappy chapter? Kind of. I kind of rushed the ending for it, because I've been working on this chapter for a long time and wanted to hurry up so I could post something for you guys. Thanks for all your support. **

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	7. Glimpse of Reason: Part II

_Hey, you guys.  
__I owe you a million.  
__I won't ramble on any longer, just so we can head straight for the chapter I'm sure many of you have anticipated.  
__Thank you for the reviews everyone, I'm honestly more grateful than words can say._

-

**I'll Turn To You Now  
**A CCS Fanfic by _Starfire Star_

Chapter Seven: Glimpse of Reason Part II

Syaoran awoke in cold sweat. He put a hand to his throbbing head, flopping back onto the pillows. And he realized he was on a… bed.

How did he get there? He couldn't remember every single detail of what happened the night before, but he did know that he wasn't in the room he was currently in. He checked the room out some more and realized he was in a hotel.

He wondered how he ended up there. He groggily snatched the phone and dialed the number for the receptionist's desk.

"Hi, this is Syaoran Li in room—" he hastily checked the card on the nightstand, "105. I know this may sound a little strange, but may I inquire who booked this room?"

The receptionist didn't sound surprised at all. "Eriol Hiragizawa did, Mr. Li. In fact, he wanted me to give you a message. He would like to meet you at Tomoeda General Hospital at 12:30PM."

"Thanks," Syaoran said in surprise. "Have a good day."

He was actually looking forward to having Eriol clear up the details of what happened last night.

He shook his head and came to realize that for once, he was waking up in a hotel alone. He didn't mean to sound like an ass. He was actually proud of himself. He would have to change his ways anyway, now that he had a daughter in his life…

A daughter. Suddenly last night's events came back crystal clear. Sakura's unforgiving words, Tomoyo's angry retorts, him recalling the story of what happened to his family…

Syaroan groaned, unwilling to face all this added stress. Sakura… God, Sakura. Her intense green eyes stayed the same. She had that undeniable beautiful presence. He had indeed thought about reuniting with her in the past, but he had no idea that they'd meet in these circumstances.

He couldn't believe he actually fathered her child. She was the only woman he had ever loved. After he left, he changed his ways. He did things the old Syaoran would never do. But willing to escape the pain, he did them. He did everything that wouldn't remind him of Sakura.

Maybe Sakura had a husband. Maybe he was a better father than he'd ever be. Maybe Sakura was actually happy, and he was in no position to come storming back into her life to change that. Maybe he could quietly slip out of their lives, and let the happy family be. He'd just be a burden to them all.

Putting these thoughts behind him, he grabbed his coat and headed to a local restaurant for lunch. He rummaged through his coat pockets, finding his cell phone, and checked to see if there were any messages. There was one from Eriol, saying to call him back as soon as possible. That was almost an hour and a half ago.

Syaoran quickly punched in the numbers to Eriol's beeper, since cell phones were prohibited in the hospital. Eriol called him back.

"You have got to get down here," Eriol told him, anxiousness thick in his voice. "The police are here, talking to Sakura about the accident. It would probably be better if you get your ass to the hospital as soon as you can."

Syaoran ran his hands through his hair, frustrated. "I'm on my way. Wait," he paused for a moment, realizing he had no idea where his car was. It was probably towed. "How do I get there?"

Eriol gave him hurried directions on how to get there through public transit. As Syaoran sat back on the red vinyl seats on the subway, he closed his eyes.

"Mommy, are you sure Daddy will be there for my recital?" he heard a little girl, around 5 years old, whisper loudly as she tugged on her mother's shirt.

"Of course he will," the mother kissed her daughter on top of her head. "Your Daddy loves you, he wouldn't miss it for the world."

Pain struck Syaoran's face. If he hadn't left, if he hadn't made that stupid mistake, _he_ would be the one who "wouldn't miss it for the world". His head began to throb. _Regret, regret, regret_. That simple word wouldn't stop being whispered in his ear as he got out of the subway and headed off in the direction of the hospital.

He got there and saw Eriol talking to the receptionist at the front desk. Eriol quickly rushed to him. "Sakura is off in that corridor talking to the police." Syaoran tried to peek around the corner for a glimpse, just as the police and Sakura emerged from the corridor.

Syaoran watched as Sakura's face tried to hide the surprise, and was it sadness, that struck her face as she saw him. She was never that good of an actress. But her auburn hair and emerald eyes seem to take his breath away as they always had before.

Eriol drew in a breath, but quickly smiled at Sakura and the police officers. "Hello. This is Syaoran Li, the man who was almost MIA," Eriol laughed nervously. Syaoran struggled not to glare at him.

The police officers nodded. "We had a chat with Miss Kinomoto here," one of them stated. "And she has said that you two know each other."

Sakura looked down at her shoes and took a deep breath. "I wish I didn't know him," Sakura said mumbled fiercely, but not with enough confidence as to say it out loud. There was an awkward silence, no one knowing what to say next.

Finally, Sakura cleared her throat and stood up straight. "Yes, we do," she clarified. She locked eyes with Syaoran, her face indifferent. He could detect a strong hint of bitterness in her voice. Syaoran looked away, uncomfortable. He wondered why she didn't mention anything about their daughter.

"We… we have a daughter together…" Syaoran was surprised that he spoke. The two officer's eyes grew wide. Eriol's eyes darted nervously between the two parties.

"You may have fathered my daughter, but that doesn't mean we have a daughter together," Sakura spoke sharply but quietly. Syaoran winced. Those words, even though he knew how true they were, sent a sharp jab to his stomach. He tried to even his breathing, taking slow deep breaths. Sakura looked down, trying to hide the fact that she was a bit ashamed by what she had just said.

The police officers looked frustrated. "That complicates matters, Miss Kinomoto," one of the officers said. "Actually, it may or may not. Would you like to press charges against Mr. Li here?"

Syaoran bit his lip, knowing what the response would be. He spoke in a low, fierce voice. "It was an accident that I hit them, and I'm very sorry for having done so. I will pay them any amount in damages, but is pressing charges really necessary? If so, what would I be charged with?"

Syaoran was treading on dangerous waters now. He knew better than to argue with police officers, but he was tired of having the finger pointed at him.

The officers glanced at each other, then spoke. "Reckless driving, of course," one stated. Syaoran turned around and slammed his fist against a wall. One of the officers raised his eyebrow. "And damage to private property, if you'd like."

Sakura coughed. The officers turned around. "Well, Miss Kinomoto?" Sakura looked at them nervously. She rocked back and forth on her heels.

"I-I… I'm sorry. Do I get time to think about this?" Sakura's voice was barely audible above the hustle and bustle of the hospital. "I really…" her voice trailed off as she waited for the officers' reply.

Syaoran, as Sakura had, tried to keep the shock off his face as he folded his arms against his chest and leaned against the wall. He refused to look anywhere at Sakura, for fear of blowing his cover. Eriol seemed to sense this and gave Syaoran a sidelong glance.

The officers looked at each other, and then at Sakura. "Are you sure?" they asked skeptically, throwing a quick glance at Syaoran.

Sakura barely moved her lips as she spoke. "Yes… I'm sorry, I'm under a lot of stress right now, and I'm not really in any position to make a rash decision, especially since my daughter hasn't already woken up from unconsciousness."

Syaoran blinked twice in his arm. Meiko Kinomoto Li… his daughter. His and Sakura's daughter. Was he really not dreaming? How was this possible?

Sakura bowed to the police officers. The police officers replied, "We would suggest you'd make a decision as soon as you can, Miss Kinomoto." They bowed to Eriol and Syaoran. "Good day, gentlemen."

Sakura nervously averted her eyes from Syaoran. "Dr., I think I'll go back to Meiko's room, check to see how she's doing," Sakura said quietly, staring down at her feet.

Eriol put out a hand to stop her. "No, I don't think that'll be necessary, Sakura. I'll get a nurse to check up on how she's doing and give us an update." He pulled out his beeper from a pocket, and glanced at it quickly. "I'll be back momentarily." He shot Syaoran a quick 'don't-do-anything-you'll-regret' look and walked toward the elevator.

There was an awkward silence, both Syaoran and Sakura not knowing what to do. Sakura smoothed back her hair, Syaoran looking at her the whole time.

It pained him to hear Meiko's name, knowing he was the reason she was at the hospital today, entering her life in the most unexpected way. Not being there for her… or Sakura… for 10 years. He could imagine all the things running through his head… he couldn't figure out why Sakura was still standing there before him, instead of walking away without a word like he had.

Sakura's voice was barely a whisper. "I… can we talk?"

A wave of relief washed through his face. "I thought you'd never ask."

-

They walked in silence to a small café just down the road from the hospital. It was cool and damp outside, fresh from rain fall that had just barely occurred an hour ago. The sky was a light grey, no sun to be seen. Sakura took quick but small steps as she hugged her pea coat around her. Syaoran's hands her clenched into fists in his coat pockets.

There weren't many customers at the café, so they were quick to find a quiet spot, away from the rest of the customers. They waitress came and set down two coffees before them. They didn't order anything else.

Sakura hugged her mug around her hands, staring out the window.

"First of all, I'd like to apologize for my behavior yesterday. It was in no way civil towards you," she began, still staring out the window before looking back, her eyes holding no emotion within them.

Syaoran felt himself filling with anger, even though he tried to keep a level head. "Are you trying to show me up now? Showing me how respectable you are, and how _I_should apologize for my actions? Honestly, Sakura, I'm already sorry, I've been sorry for the past ten years of my life. What more do you want from me?"

Sakura turned away, a hint of humor in her voice, letting out a small sigh. "You're still arrogant. I guess some things never change."

Syaoran didn't know what to say to this. He opted to stare intently at Sakura, waiting for her to continue.

"I'm not trying to show you up. I just wanted to start off being polite," Sakura angry whispered, herself trying to keep a level head.

"So you can ease me in, huh?" I shot back, drumming my fingers on the table.

Sakura bit her lip, glaring back at me. "I told myself this wasn't a good idea. I never should've asked." She rose from the table, reaching for her coat. "Excuse me."

"Wait," Syaoran said, holding a hand out to stop her. "No, sit."

Giving him a peculiar look, Sakura sat back down again. She took a deep breath, and began again. "Listen, when I heard about what your parents had done to you…" she shook her head as her voice trailed off. She coughed and began again. "I couldn't dare imagine what kind of unbelievable decision you had to make."

Syaoran didn't feel he could say anything. He stared at her emerald eyes shimmering with tears, feeling like all he wanted to do was grab her, hold onto her and never let go.

Sakura continued. "I can't say I completely forgive you, how could I when you left me without a word? I could understand why you left, but I can't understand how you dealt with it." She looked up at him.

"I don't need you to forgive me," Syaoran said, his voice low. "I just want you to know how sorry I am."

Sakura closed her eyes, not opening them as she spoke. "I'm not pressing charges, Syaoran."

Syaoran's eyes widened. "What? But I could've killed you, and… and Meiko," he still couldn't place her name on his lips correctly. It felt strange.

Sakura's eyes opened, not a hint of emotion tracing her face. "We weren't killed. And she's recovering. I-I don't know what've happened if they didn't find… the cancer… when they did." Sakura trembled, her hands tight around the mug.

"Sakura…" Syaoran's voice trailed off. He looked at her, and suddenly had a flashback. He saw the eighteen year-old Sakura, so scared and unsure, her eyes innocent. The Sakura ten years later was different, yet the same. She matured, her face soft but aged with worry. Syaoran looked down as Sakura looked at him again.

"Look, Syaoran," Sakura sighed. "I-I just think things would be better off how they were. I doubt you'd want to be thrown into this stress. And I can afford the medical expenses and everything. Just go back to living your life, and I'll do the same. Meiko won't know a thing."

Sakura felt strange as she spoke these words. It was as if she had to let go again, and she was never good at it. But somehow, over the course of ten years, she had become more definite with it.

Syaoran couldn't face this. No, no, he had nothing in his life anymore—what did he have to lose? He couldn't lose something so important again. No, this time he wasn't running away.

He said it so quietly that Sakura wasn't sure if she heard him right.

"I want to be a part of Meiko's life."

-

_Thanks for the continuing support, everyone! If you are a fan of the Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer, I'd appreciate it greatly if you checked out my new story! I will try to update more often, I know how much I suck at timing. I love you guys!_


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